Thursday, April 3, 2014

Keep It Tight

"Holy Shit, you're tight." 

That's what my husband told me during one of our more recent sexcapades. The look on his face was worshipful, his voice reverent.

It was a glorious moment.

He's never has never said this about my vagina. Ever. Not even before my lady underwent natural childbirth. There have been no complaints, but that look, those four words. They do something for a woman's ego.

I'm rocking some vaginal hubris.

Big time.

A few of you may be thinking, You poor thing, my vagina has always been super snug.

Well, good for you Sally Super Snach, with your naturally narrow channel. Most of us have to put some effort into our internal structure. This post is for the majority of  us that have naturally lost our inner muscle tone over the years.

And let's face it; we all want at least one moment, in our post virginal lives, where our vaginal passage is considered 'too tight'. And we want the moment to occur during sex, not childbirth.

So, you may be wondering; how did I achieved this vagina with a force flex, Hulk grip of magical wonder?

Kandi Burruss 'Hold On To Me' weighted kegel balls

I got these off of Adam&, but there are a few sites you can find them on. I adore these things. You can use a single ball, or the two 'sphere' holder and change out the weight between the holders. 

The balls aren't too big or too small. They don't feel like they're constantly about to fall out like the little Ben Wa balls, but they aren't so big that you don't have to work to keep them in. 

Like every other woman over a certain age, I do my kegels regularly. I've even used the Ben Wa balls. Nothing has given me Wonder Woman Vagina like these balls. Just seeing them on my dresser when I wake up, I sometimes lie in bed and do some kegels before I get up. Then later in the day I put them in before I check my email. 

And yes, if you get an email from me, that's not from my iphone, chances are I was kegeling while I sent it. 

We're all a little closer now. You're welcome.

I've only been using these bad boys since February, and I've already got power pussy going on. I've always been envious of the fictional characters that had the heroes drooling over their heroines 'tight' vaginal state. Now I have fictional heroine pussy!! 

Dreams do come true.

And that's not all!

Bigger, stronger, more powerful, and often multiple, ORGASMS! 

That's right, if you start now you can be having the best orgasm you've ever had by May! I had an endless orgasm once since coming into my super maxed vaginal state. I was crying and clawing the sheets, and it didn't stop. Nope. It just kept going. I thought I was going to pass out. I was light headed for an hour afterwards. This went on and on and on. 

My husband felt like a king.  

We haven't had sex once this month that I didn't have multiple orgasms from penetration alone. When my hubby works the clit--or forces me to play with myself through my orgasm, cause he knows how I like it--it's like fireworks exploding out the top of my head. 

Fact: you want to achieve this face during sex.  

Kandi Burrus Hold On To Me weighted kegel ball,
Because everyone deserves epic orgasms 

Adam&Eve<-- use the code SHIP69 and get free shipping. These bad boys are worth every penny. 

P.S. they also help with this stuff, 
so, you know, they're good for road trip bladder training

Go forth and kegel!!


  1. Wow, yes, we ARE closer now! Thank you!! I love it actually. I am going to go get my balls in (that sounds weird) ...right after I write this. Not during. No...

    Funny story - maybe gross to some but they were clean! My daughter picked them up a couple of weeks ago (found them where I'd left them wrapped up where they did not belong - bad mommy) and goes 'mom are these balls you hypnotize people with?'

    Yes she did.

    She's 11. Soon, she's going to know what she was really seeing...note to self, put other toys away.

    So, I laughed, asked where she found them and told her no, they were a different sort of ball and wasn't she late for school???

    Thank you for this post. It's made my day!

    1. Bwahahahaaaaaa!!! Oh, no! Mine are in a case on my dresser and thankfully my son is oblivious. "are these the balls you hypnotize ppl with? LOL

      Some day, as an adult, she'll call you completely freaked out. She will have remembered that moment and put it all together! I've had that kind of convo with my own mother. "You and dad weren't napping Sunday afternoons, at all!!" -This after my husband I told our son not to disturb us because we were going to take a 'nap' one Sunday afternoon.

      The horror!!

    2. Oh, I've got a horror story of my own;
      When my parents weren't home I would watch tv in their room. (My brother would commandeer the living room, and it was the only other place that had a cable box) I was laying on the bed and noticed a HUGE hook bolted into the ceiling. I called my brother in to investigate and we found the 'swing' that attached to it in their closet.(Yeah, you know what kind!)
      Unfortunately we were teenager so we were NOT oblivious to what it was used for. GAG! lol

    3. OMG Carol!! I feel your pain! My brother and I found my dad's little blue pills and a leopard g-string in his sock draw. We were in our twenties, home for a visit and the house was freezing so we raided our dad's sock draw. (he has really good socks) NEVER again will we steal his socks!!!

    4. Leopard g-string? So your dad is a Chippendale, huh? lol

    5. *throws up in mouth a little* Uuuuuhhhg! Thanks for ruining the Chippendales for me Carol!!! I'm going to have to get that image wiped clean for my head. LOL

  2. OMG! We are a little closer now, and I love it! Hilarious post and packed with info. And yes, I would like to achieve that face every single time!

    You guys are killing me with the kid stories, I am dying over here.

  3. Okay, like, I'm one of those ladies you guys hate. But couldn't we all some improvement in that area?