Monday, January 27, 2014

Trillionaires, The New Billionaires



I don't usually talk about three star books. In fact this will be the first time ever. I enjoyed the books but there were things I didn't like at all, yet I'm strangely addicted to them with all their faults and foibles. I found myself liking the things that annoyed me because they were so damn consistent they gave the books a campy appeal.

Honestly, I've bought and read them all. When the next book comes out I will buy and read that one too.

ARe link; Married to the Trillionaires - All Romance Ebooks <----FREE at the time of posting

95pages 

Married To The Trillionaires, Menage For Mankind, Book 1 by Ella Mansfield

Married to the Trillionaires is about real estate guru Bill, foot ball player John, sports agent David, and token black guy, botanist Steve.(all the books have one black guy) They are long time friends and all live in the four penthouses at the top of a building in Dallas. 

April Moore is getting sold so her dad can remarry and retire. It's a cold thing to do, but hey, it's all in the name of love right? Dutiful daughter April is hurt but incredibly understanding. 

This book probably has the most plot outside of sex. 


79 pages

Taken by the Trillionaires, Menage For Mankind, Book 2, by Ella Mansfield

Taken by the Trillionaires is about one armed Travis, hunky Austin, basketball player (token black guy) Cody, and game designer Bo. These guys have always been friend and come together to buy their bride. They buy a huge mansion further out from the city, in anticipation of winning the auction.

Erin is getting sold because her parents have lots of kids and they just heard about the amazing out come of Mr.Moore selling his daughter. (they all live in the same religious group) Yep, auctioning off your oldest daughter is trending on the commune. Apparently selling your daughter to repopulate earth is a worthy enough cause not to have any moral backlash. 

This was actually my favorite book. This is closer to four stars for me. The plot (or lack there of), dialogue, and flow of the story felt the most organic even though it was the shortest. Erin never breaks character. She never says words or phrases that make the reader hiccup in disbelief. The sex was the least uber porn gangbang, but the husbands were the most lovable. Bo is a freak in the sheets and I adore him.  

With that being said, there were some snags. Erin brushes her raven hair in the beginning of the book, then wishes her plain brown hair was darker for Bo, who dresses her up as Princess Peach.
(FYI Princess Peach is blond)

She visits April and April's twins, named Sally and Sabrina after the woman who helped her and her mother in book one, are changed to ridiculously religious Rebekka and Rehab in book two. Also, John is mentioned as April's black husband, when Steve is her black husband. 

It made me wonder if Ella Mansfield is just a pen name for a publishing house that contacts out different ghost writers. 


87 pages 

Sold to the Trillionaires, Menage For Mankind, Book 3, by Ella Mansfield

Sold to the Trillionaires features rancher Gunther, one eyed, black, car salesman Leofred, Olympian Rodrigo, and mine owner Mitchell. They are acquaintances that become friends in order to buy a bride. They build a very polygamous compound on some of Gunther's land. 

Book Three opens with our heroine, nineteen year old virgin Amber, getting frisky with two boys in her religious commune. After a lot of heavy petting the three are caught wet handed by three leaders of their community. The boys are punished and married off and Amber is put in a chastity belt to await her auction. She is to be sold to the highest bidder, the money will go to the community she sullied with her loose morals. 

This book features the horniest bride and the most gang bang per capita. Amber is also the most bipolar bride. You think she's into the uber sex, but then you're not sure. She says she's not into it, then she's begging for it. One minute she's all "no more," then the next minute she's all "fuck my ass". It was still fun. 

 ::Series Overview::

Every one of us will be inside you before the night is up. 
There is nothing to be shy about around us.
-Married to the Trillionaires

Okay, so when a series is titled Menage For Mankind, you know the plot is going to be strongly sex based. I wasn't disappointed, the characters of these books are indeed fucking to save the world, but I was pleasantly surprised when these books offered more than a quickly plotted cheesy porn. Not a ton more, but more none the less. 

What intrigued me?

These books are three hundred years in the future, 2310. One hundred years before the stories begin the government decides it's inhumane to put women through natural childbirth. They've developed a system of growing the fetus from a woman's egg and a man's sperm in a pod, then made it illegal to have children naturally. They had taken the eggs from only the most intelligent women and the sperm from the most intelligent men to make babies. 

The system turned out faulty. There were more male pod babies than female and the females came out sickly. The females that did survive proved sterile. All of them. By then it was too late. There were no more eggs to harvest from natural women.

The stories open up one hundred years after the pod baby disaster. Women are rare. Natural born women who can still conceive are even rarer. They are women born on communes, in religious communities that refused to conform to the unnatural pod procreating laws. Luckily for the few strait men left, if you have an insane amount of money, one of these commune girls can be yours... and three others. You just have to promise not use protection, have lots of babies, and repopulate mankind. 

No pressure.



It's not explained whether this pod baby craze all began because the world was over populated or not. I assumed that was the case since they only accepted the sperm and eggs of the most intelligent men and women. So far the girls have all come from the same uber religious compound in Wisconsin, and the trillionaires all live in Texas. This actually made perfect sense to me. 

There is already a lot of wealthy people in Texas and I'm originally from Wisconsin. We have a lot of communes and religious nuts up there. We also have quite a few free love type communes and a disturbing amount of swinger organizations, but the repressed virgins that live like the Amish are a lot more fun to send to a gangbang. 

I get why the author went that way. 

What kept me interested? 

All three books have a polygamous set up to the relationship that differs greatly from most menage books. All the guys live separately together, so that their wife can easily travel to each of the men's domiciles for sex. Instead of sister wives, they are brother husbands.
The auctioned off bride has one main husband, and mainly goes back to sleep with him, after all the fucking is done.

I was surprised by this. Partly because I felt there could have been a better emotional connection with all the guys if she slept each night with a different one, but largely because the guys paid equal amounts to share the bride. Why wouldn't they all get equal night time with her. 

This is addressed in book two and three. All the books have the bride automatically become attached to the main husband but then she has to go be of service to the other guys. 

What makes these books kind of campy? (and I'm using 'campy' loosely here)

The outlandish plot and character changes go without saying. The fact that the world is full of these over these over the top gay guys in three hundred years is a plus. Of course the strait guys have this great, 'slavery is bad, but buying a woman who we will be forced to service all our sexual needs is completely legit', mentality. I think the guys even say something like that in book one or two. 

That mentality gives the books a bit of a 'call girl' feel. The brides really are tired and sore for some of those fuckings, but they are all good wives. They hang in there and ride, or are ridden, out to the very end. 

The religious commune the girls are from get's stricter with each book, while the demands from the husbands get more outlandish. Each group of guys all find reasons to spank and punish their bride. Poor horny Amber gets it for masturbating while the guys are at work.

A few of the occupations the guys have seem a stretch for a trillionaire, even in three hundred years.Plus all of the trillionaires conveniently live in Texas. Really? So, I guess trillionaire in 2310 is what millionaire is today. 

The verbage is often over the top. Also there is a lot of spurting and spraying. I think the term spraying was most prevalent in book three.
They all had champagne blast orgasms constantly inside and outside their bride. How they didn't black out from their explosive sperm spraying, is beyond me.

In all three books, the brides go for their nightly fuck visits in a specific order, and that is the order they always fuck in, except for the group free for alls.  All the books have one token black guy and all the books have one guy that is really bad at sex, except book two. Book two has Bo. 

I love Bo. He is beyond a doubt the most creative, fun character of the entire series. And I say that knowing that says some fuck up shit about me. 

Over all, a three star series that will have me coming back for more. They were lovable okay books that had an originality that many lack. 

Be sure to check out the newly released book 4,

  Bedded by the Trillionaires Amazon link; http://amzn.com/B00I0GPU2Y ,


Thank You, Ella Mansfield







Sunday, January 19, 2014

End Game


There is something magical about finishing a serial trilogy and having the last book be the  BEST book in the series. The feeling you get when all those loose ends are tied, all your concerns are addressed, and everything works out exactly how you wanted it to, promotes a spiritual oneness that I hope every reader gets to experience at least once in their life time.

This literary miracle doesn't happen often but when it does, you will hear the roar of a crowd louder than any packed full stadium when the home team scores the winning goal. You will experience a rush of exuberance better than when your favorite band comes on stage and you are swept up in the euphoria of thousands of fans going wild, while you go wild right along with them.

Oh yes,

birds will sing

horses will frolic

rainbows will shoot from your soul 

Okay, right now Katrina & The Waves are singing Walking On Sunshine, and Queen is rocking out in my brain with We Are The Champions. I am feeling the glory of resting at the finish line of  a hard won trilogy that had me on emotional tender hooks. 


http://amzn.com/B00G6624U6 <-----free for a limited time

Fair Play Hat Trick Book One by Samantha Wayland

Savannah, a physical therapist for a profession hockey team, falls in love with Garrick, a player on said team. I enjoyed the book. It's a great kick off. Lovable H/h as well as great secondary characters. Everything was good. I bought this book blind, but I knew it was going to be a series since..well, Book One is in it's title. 

I was making guesses on which secondary character was going to get their own story in book two. That's when I read the blurb at the back of the book. 

sigh

Book two is about Garrick and his best friend Rhian. Discovering this was a serial trilogy, in this way, put me through a string of emotions beginning with hurt, betrayal, anger.....

Why, Samantha Wayland? WHY?!


Remember, it all works out, but at this point I was pretty tragic. I try to avoid these types of trilogies until the last book is out, to avoid reader's anxiety. 

*Reader's Anxiety: when you, the reader, experience real stress worrying about fictional characters. 


Two-Man Advantage Hat Trick Book Two by Samantha Wayland

Like all Samantha Wayland books, I was immediately drawn in. The idea of Rhian and Garrick started swirling around my head and playing out on the page. The chemistry between these two is off the charts. It defines hot and heavy. My windows steamed up while reading this. I had to take a break from reading because I didn't have any blood left in my head. I went into a sex frenzy that is making January a month to remember, because of this book. If you don't orgasm at least twice while reading this book, schedule a doctors appointment. There is something wrong below your Mason-Dixon line. 

Anyways, aside from it being a wall-banger, I fell in love with Rhian right away. No one is immune to Rhian. How anyone could not want to bundle up Rhian, take him home, and keep him forever boggles my mind. He's put through the emotional ringer in this book and by the end you know there is still more emotional tumult for him to endure. He's got insecurities, guilt, and a whole heap of baggage where Garrick and Savannah are concerned. I was on the emotional roller coaster right there with him. 

I also felt sad for Savannah because the guys were having really, really, REALLY good sex without her. Not only that but her lover, her soon-to-be life mate, was falling in love and she was missing it. She totally cock blocked herself. I was really annoyed with Savannah and Garrick for naively believing Garrick could have a no-strings sexual fling with Rhian, of all people. I was doubly pissed off at Garrick because he knows right away he has a level of intimacy with Rhian not conducive to a fling. 

Of course it would have been anti-climatic had he dealt with this right away. Illogical as it may be, I still was mentally lecturing them, "What did you two think was going to happen?!"

There's subtle hints of Rhian and Savannah's attraction to each other. Rhian mentally thinks Savannah is beautiful and wonderful and Savannah flat out tells Garrick she's jealous he's getting to bang uber sexy Rhian Savage. Then there is a heart melting moment Garrick looks down at Rhian and mentally wishes he could share that moment, and Rhian, with Savannah.

The set up felt like it was building a background for the three of them to be a triad, but was I just seeing what I wanted to see? 

This is when my insecurities began to play havoc on my common sense. A few years ago I read a series structured like this, and it didn't end in a beautiful triad or a menage. It ended in a separate poly relationship, where everyone had a schedule and were 'happy'. 

Was that what was happening?

My reader's anxiety was beginning to give me heartburn. 


End Game Hat Trick Book Three by Samantha Wayland 

*Cue fireworks and rainbows. Time to do the happy dance!!!! 

Savannah is Garrick's girlfriend. Rhian is Garrick's boyfriend. Savannah and Rhian both live separately in Boston while Garrick lives in Moncton Canada. These three are living in a separate type of poly relationship. Savannah and Rhian used to be friends, but things have gotten weird. Rhian feels like the third wheel and Savannah isn't sure what she feels. She just loves Garrick enough to want him to be happy, and Rhian makes him happy. 

Savannah is the one that encouraged Garrick to fool around with another man, so she kind of blames herself for him falling in love. She knows she's not jealous, but she's not loving having to share Garrick either.

Rhian grew up without any guiding love or support in foster care, and he is the epitome of insecure. Plus, he has no idea how he couldn't possibly fit into Garrick and Savannah's happily ever after. He's never been in love or had someone love him the way Garrick does. He's not comfortable with it and when he finds a lump, all deals are off. 

Everything changes. 

The beginning of book three starts with them trying to get comfortable with their poly relationship. I was more than a little queasy starting off things. When hints of an attraction between Rhian and Savannah start flying, my heart soared. I knew everything was going to be alright.

Savannah can't help but fall in love with Rhian and Rhian can't help but fall in love with Savannah... and her family. Rhian still plans on leaving town and breaking off with Garrick, but Savannah isn't letting him go. With the help of Savannah's friend Grace http://amzn.com/B003SX0Y3O from With Grace, Savannah realizes she may be able to make things work between her, Garrick, and Rhian better than any of them could imagine. 

Savannah and Rhian were my favorite pairing and not only because I had been cheering for them to find their way to each other since book two. The awkward moments between Savannah and Rhian are hilarious and heartwarming. Savannah refuses to let Rhian push Garrick away, and Rhian's reaction to being steam rolled by his boyfriend's girlfriend is great.

The moment Rhian realizes he wishes he had a place in Savannah's life like Garrick, was like seeing a basket full of puppies. I melted. I was on tender hooks waiting for them to finally rip each others clothes off. The tension and the heat between these two escalates quickly into explosive. Savannah is so take charge, and Rhian is so vulnerable, yet he loves to take the reins at the least expected moments. It made for some extra steamy scenes.  

When the three of them finally come together.....






It is everything you can expect from a Samantha Wayland triad and more. Panties will be soaked, birds will sing, horses will frolic, and souls with be shooting rainbows. I wanted it to go on and on. I'm sorry for ever doubting the happy menage ever after ending.

There is a slew of great big lovable secondary characters in book three I hope we get to see again. I'm not even going to touch on the subplot other to say I enjoyed it and felt it played out well. We even get to see Patrick http://amzn.com/B005E8ALLQ from Destiny Calls, if only momentarily. I personally love it when an author works in connecting characters from their other series. It's always a treat to see those characters carrying on happily ever after. 

*On a side note, may I say Rhian, R-H-I-A-N, is the sexiest, most romantic way to spell Ryan. The pronunciation threw me a little in the first book, but by the second book I was wondering why anyone would spell it differently. That spelling adds at least three points of hotness to any guy and turns him into a bucket list bang. Seriously.

Warning: This book contains explicit sexual naughtiness including m/m/f menage, and a post coital glow that will lead to a spiritual oneness that yoga cannot achieve. May cause embarrassingly wet panties. Please take caution when reading in public. 

Go forth and read the series, and know the ending is worth the journey.

For more on Samantha Wayland please visit @ http://www.samanthawayland.com/ 



Thank You, Samantha Wayland

Namaste

Monday, January 13, 2014

I Laughed, Then I Laughed Some More

Let's face it. This time of year doesn't really scream sexy. January is the hangover from the holidays. You regret spending too much, or eating too much. You reminisce about the good times and the bad, and you promise yourself you wont do all the bad anymore.

January, if you're doing it right, is filled with good intentions and the determination to follow through.

Sweat is just fat crying

Not to mention the inevitable meltdown that follows making changes and giving up the extra 1500 calories a day of cookies, pork roast, and wine you indulged in during the holidays. 



Nope, not very sexy at all.

That's why this week's book pick is a comedy that ranks right up there with Erma Bombeck's The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank and Justin Halpern's I Suck At Girls. Fear not, this book is not only a romance but delightfully vulgar.

 

Love and Lists by Tara Sivec
Can someone die from a severe case of blue balls?
Gavin Ellis is a twenty five year old man asking himself and Google that very question. You see, Gavin is in love with his best friend Charlotte Gilmore. The most beautiful, wonderful girl in the world. Unfortunately for Gavin, Charlotte has placed him in the friend zone. Gavin has disparaged of Charlotte ever seeing him as the sexy beast he would like her to see him as, until one drunken night. Armed with liquid courage Gavin and his best friend Tyler make a 'foolproof' list to make Charlotte fall in love with Gavin.

Love and Lists is the perfect recipe for humor. Full of off the wall characters and scenarios that are the epitome of awkward, this book had me chuckling from the very first page. The disasters that follow in the wake of Gavin, and his drunken list, had me holding my sides laughing. There were many passages I read aloud to my husband, who chuckled and laughed as much as I did.

Peppered with popculture and a H/h aged 22 & 25, this book could easily fall in the New Adult Romance category, (aimed at the 18-25 crowd) but was still very amusing to this thirty two year old.

Tara Sivec has written a humorous love story that is different from anything I've ever read before. Indeed, the first half of the book is told from Gavin's POV. Right when I was getting tired of Gavin's POV the story switches up to Charlotte's POV. Although, a much different POV, Charlotte's half is equally funny as the first.

Love and Lists is actually a spin off of the Chocolate Lovers series by Tara Sivec.http://amzn.com/1490436588

While I was able to enjoy Love and Lists wholeheartedly, without having read the Chocolate Lovers books, I fell in love with the offbeat secondary characters enough to buy and read the original series. I found each story funnier than the last. I was very happy with my 3.5 Chocolate Lovers story pack purchase, but I must say Love and Lists is easily the funniest of them all.

Warning: This book contains lots of coarse language, penis and sex toy humor, over consumption of alcohol and misuse of Viagra. If of these things offend you, bugger off. This book isn't for you. 


Tara Sivec's waters run deep with her popular Playing With Fire series written under T.E. Sivec. For more on Tara Sivec, visit @http://www.tarasivec.com/home/

Monday, January 6, 2014

Two Dongs Are Better Than One


For those of you who read my blog, you know that some of my all time favorite books are erotic sci-fis featuring double dicked bisexual men. I'm of course referring to Tracy St. John Clan's of Kalquor books and Morgan Hawke's Victorious Star.

All these delicious double wanged bi men are featured in sci-fi books. They are made up, sexy aliens, born of wicked women's wet dreams and salacious fantasies. Figments of the imagination, so unlikely they might as well be unicorns.

But what if there was a man with two dicks? Could reality be better than fiction?

When you hear about a guy with two dicks in real life, you probably wonder if the second is just a little gimp. A finger like stump. Some non-functioning entity that should have probably been removed at birth. I know I did.

Then I found out about this guy who has two penises. If you've been online at all the past few days you've probably seen this guy. I saw this Jezebel post, http://jezebel.com/here-is-the-true-story-of-a-man-with-two-dicks-1493243647, I freaked. This is the greatest thing I've heard about, ever.

He's dubbed the Double Dick Dude, a nick name he carries from high school. He has two fully functioning decent sized, decent looking dicks.

Erect 


Flaccid 


He favors his right one, the left needing constant stimulation to get as hard, but his left has all the feeling and capability of his right. The right is roughly seven inches, the left is six, making a total of thirteen inches of cock stuffed into this gentleman's pants.

He has a split urethra, so he pees out of both and he cums out of both. He has a much larger prostate so he has to cum at least once a day and drain the prostate, (I believe it has to be physically milked) once every few days, so it doesn't get inflamed. His erections last around two hours and when he cums he could drown a puppy. I'm paraphrasing the last bit, but you get the point.

Now, all that would be spectacular on it's own but he's also a good looking fellow who is in a monogamous poly relationship with a woman and a man.

That's right. This glorious man doesn't only have two dicks and the sexual prowess of a gorilla on Viagra, he's bisexual.



All these things and so much more can be found in his Q&A session on reddit.com @
http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1u75hh/i_am_the_guy_with_two_penises_ama/
It's fascinating. I read the whole thread. You couldn't have peeled me away.

I'm giddy as a blushing school girl with her first crush. I've never been so happy for another human being. He's got two dicks and he's not wasting one ounce of cum stored up in his over full sac. No, he's proudly exploring all the possibilities out there for a man with two dicks. 

My only sadness is now I know he is out there, in the bright beautiful world, having super crazy kinky sex and he refuses to do porn. He doesn't want that kind of notoriety and he doesn't need the money. I get that, no one wants to be a novelty, yet I'm still so disappointed. 

We, my fellow readers, will never see his magnificent cocks in action. That is a travesty that should be mourned. Just a little.

His existence however is a wondrous thing that should be celebrated.

How marvelous is it that we now can have contemporary erotica featuring a doubled donged bisexual fellow, and it would be completely with in reason?  Yes. It. Is.

I believe InscrutableTed wrote it best on reddit.com;

Just to summarize what we've learn't. 
He's bisexual. He's attractive. He lives in a threesome. He likes fisting others and being fisted. He likes putting things down his urethra. He casually mentions the time six people had sex with him simultaneously. He shoots 12 times when he cums. Strait men magically turn bicurious around him.  
And on top of that, he has two penises. 
Well played God. Good to know you didn't waste that extra penis on a prude. 

Well played, indeed.