My Super Read-A-Thon

Only 17 books and two box sets to go!

Okay, so my life is a read-a-thon, but this month is different! 

I'm having a no buy month. That's right. I'm not buying any books for the month of June.

Alright, so I may have caved, twice, but they were both under $2.00. I don't usually advocate not buying books, but I had over 32 books in my TBR and two of them are box sets with at least four stories a piece in them.

I needed to stop buying and start dwindling down the spur of the moment 'on sale now' buys, historical romances  (I just hadn't been in the mood for), and those free for all freebies.

Those freebies are addictive but at least I'm discriminate with them. I rarely download a freebie just because it's free. The premise has to interest me and if it's short, all the better.

I'm not a big novella person and I don't usually buy anything under 100 pages but I have OCD which means when I start reading something I have to finish it. Even if I'm just not into it.

I almost hit a wall this weekend when there was a summer freebie e-book event. I was picky about my downloads and powered through 7 of the 14 I picked up. I've read the good the bad and the ugly these past three weeks. I have 16 books and 2 box sets to go and four days until July and I can start buying again.

Here are the stories I'ved enjoyed the most so far. Get your note pad or  e-readers ready. Some of these are   still free, so get them while they're hot!

*Free

Masters At Arms by Kallypso Masters : This is the into with prequels to the Rescue Me series. I'm hooked. *186 page, m/f bdsm premise,  three story prologues that will suck you in.

*Free

Nobody's Angel by Kallypso Masters :  Just Started. Book 2 Rescue Me series. Honestly, you might as well get it while it's free. Must read intro first. Also free. *362page BDSM m/f with hints of m/f/m ikd yet.

Cajun Hot by Nikita Black: Great stand alone. I can't wait to buy and read Nikita Black's Slave for Love. *162 pages, erotic m/f with some m/f/m

Double Her Fantasy by Randi Alexander : Enjoyed it much more than I expected. Only complaint is I wished it kept going. I wanted to see more of the threesome after HEA. *131 pages, erotic m/f/m (no male touching)

*Free

Through the Wall by Keri Ford : Sweet hot feel good novella that was more on the side of romance.* 53 page novella, lusty romance m/f

Bad Girl Lessons (Gresham County 1) by Seraphina Donavan : LOVED IT 3H, Hot, Heartfelt, Humorous. Was hooked from page one. I enjoyed so thoroughly I can't wait for July 1^st so I can buy book 2 Bad Boy Secrets. *116 pages erotic m/f

*Free

Untamed Hunger (Alpha Colony) by Aubrey Ross : Stand out shifter story that felt fresh and different. Ms. Ross goes very sci-fi with her shifters, she refers to as morphs. They are genetically altered in labs and that appeals to me way more than the paranormal conundrum of mysterious or cursed shifters. I hope she kept her term 'morph' throughout her series. 

Short and hot I will be purchasing the next in the series. They are all under 80 pages and set $1.99 which I think is reasonable. *81 pages erotic m/f

*Free

How to Break A Cowboy (Savage Tales) by Daire St. Denis : 3H, HOLY HOT as HELL. DAMN HOT, DOWN LOAD NOW! *83 page f*%#ing erotic m/m/m/f

*Free

Rage and Redemption (Rebel Angels Book 1) by Cyndi Friberg : Romance, with paranormal elements that were fresh and different. I really enjoyed book 1 and I might get book 2. *318 pages, lusty romance m/f

My Wicked Trainers (Club Wicked 3.5) by Ann Mayburn : Super short, super hot, melt your panties under an hour read and only available at Loose-Id. It's a prequel or extra long tease to the next story in Ms.Mayburn's Club Wicked series, My Wicked Gypsy, which she isn't done writing yet!!! 

Needless to say I've been mentally throwing things at Ms. Mayburn every time I think of  all the unfinished everything between Liam and Rory. How could you do that to us you diabolical woman? And yes, of course in the meantime I'll be buying the other stories in the Club Wicked series. Damnit. *Super short, (will read in less than an hour) erotic m/f/m with m/m-ish aspects

Vitamin P by Nichelle Gregory : She had me at scientist takes sex pill. My eyes crossed there is much sex. I may get her novella, Drenched Panties just because I love the title. *113 page super erotica m/f/m with focus on m/f HEA

Jilted Again by Alexandra Andersen : For me it was slow to start but then some interesting twists are thrown in. *185 page tame romance, m/f heroine has sex w/ someone other than hero. 

Being Delightful by Shayne McClendon : LMFAO! So funny. *76 page lusty romance m/f with bonus short story Being More. 

Obsession by Shayne McClendon : LOVED IT. Couldn't put it down. Sucked me right in and didn't let me go. Loved it. *159 page erotic romance hybrid 70 % story but the 30% lovin is explicit. m/f/m

*Free

Blown by Braxton Cole : LOVED IT, cried at the ending. *77page novella, erotica, m/f

*On Sale $1.99 June Only!

The Dom with a Safeword by Black, Shaw, and Silverword: Book one in the Badass Brats series. *292 page, erotica M/F/f

Silent Surrender by Abigail Barnette: Historical erotica for those sick of contemporary and paranormal. Set in 1841 with an interesting deaf girl plot line, and lots of naughty sex. *119 pages, erotic m/f, m/f/m

Any Duchess Will Do (Spindle Cove) by Tess Dare : Historical romance. I always enjoy Tessa Dare and I loved the crap out of this book. Very funny. *384 pages, lusty romance m/f

Mystery Woman by Amanda Quick (aka; Jayne Ann Krentz, aka; Jayne Castle aka; Over Achiever): As always a great read. For this one Ms. Quick seems to be channeling Sir Authur Conan Doyle. It read very much like Sherlock Holmes. *384 pages, extremely tame m/f

Honorable Mention

*Super Sale $0.99

Beyond Shame by Kit Rocha : Book one in Beyond Series. Read months ago but it's on sale for a steal for a limited time. *354 pages, erotica m/f with some m/f/f and m/f/f/m 

Good Vibrations

Is owning a vibrator still considered kinky? Seems like everyone has a vibrator or dildo these days. Since all the kinkster sites always have a ton of vibrator reviews I'm going to say yes. I for one am always surprised when someone says they don't have one.

After I started having issues with silicone and latex I asked a girlfriend what kind of material hers was made out of. She said she used to have one but she's been completely organic for years. I didn't know there was a granola mode of masturbation. 

Recently a different girlfriend texted me, I think my new roommate can hear my vibrator, but I can't ask him. He locks his room whether he's home or not. How am I going to find out if he can hear it in his room?

I told her whatever possible creepy reason he's locking his door probably trumps her rubbing one out every night, but this got me thinking about some of the humorous trials and tribulations my friends and I have encountered with vibrators.

Can My Neighbor Hear My Vibrator?

I live in an area of old brick houses with thin windows. All the houses are spaced with about fifteen feet apart. Our bedroom is positioned across from our neighbors kitchen windows and their upstairs office. Our neighbor often works from home and leans out his office window to smoke.

I was never concerned he could hear us having sex until one day when my husband had a day off during the week and my son was in school. We of course took full advantage of the situation. After what I can only describe as a 'wild romp', that left me hoarse, I became aware I could hear my neighbor talking on his phone while he hung out his window smoking. Gasp

I still held hope he hadn't heard us. He was outside but we were inside with the windows firmly closed.

Taking the dogs out in the back yard, later that week, while my son was playing in his room dissuaded me of that notion. If I could hear my kid yelling at the imaginary foes his army guys were fighting, then our neighbors definitely could hear us.

The damage was done. When that happened we'd already lived here for a year and had sex plenty of other times. So our neighbors know we have an active healthy sex life. Shrug They still invite us to BBQs so obviously they didn't mind....

Having our neighbors know we are having sex is a little different than our neighbors knowing we are having kinky sex. I was already mortified they could probably hear me getting my ass slapped, I pray they can't hear the dirty talk. Now, Oh God, could they hear my vibrator?

I've had one sex toy or another since I was eighteen. I hadn't however had a battery operated sex toy since my son was born. Having a child changed my lady parts tolerance to certain rubber materials. I replaced my toys with glass and glass toys rarely have vibes.

About a year ago I got to the point I really wanted a vibrator again.

I rushed out and found one compatible with my tiddly bits and popped in the batteries. This thing sounded ten times louder at home than at the store. I was positive the entire neighborhood could hear this thing.

I left it in my room walking around the inside of my house. I could hear it from every room. I of course rushed outside and if anyone glanced down my driveway or walked by the back of my house they would have seen me with my ear pressed up against my window.

I have since listened from many locations, on three separate occasions, just to be sure. There are always people mowing lawns or doing some kind of building of things with hammers and electric saws. Of course I can't hear it. Then I noticed every time I want to use it the only thing that can be heard is the melodic chirping  of birds and of course the loud hum of my vibrator.

It's giving me a complex.

I hear vibrators

If that weren't bad enough my husband thinks nothing of it. He brings it out and uses it on me carte blanche. I'm one of those people that gets hazy when completely aroused. I don't notice the world around me until afterwards when I can hear things like my neighbors talking outside in their backyard. Then I want to dig a hole and hide.

I guess this is a sign I'm not an exhibitionist, but I think my husband is because the frequency of our sexcapades have increased quite a bit since he discovered our neighbors can probably hear us. Groan Together eleven years and I'm still discovering new things about him everyday.

* * * *

Like any electronic devise vibrators can go haywire. I know someone who had a bad experience with an exploding motor. I guess there was battery acid everywhere. I can't imagine. This was before you could read a million reviews on naughty products before you bought them. Plus I think vibes are made sturdier now. I hope.

Yes, there are a lot of interesting things that could happen when sexing up electronics but I would like to tell a different kind of tale...

Kinksters In The Least Likely Places

I stayed home with my son the first year of his life and even after I went back to work it was only two to three days a week. I went to all the mommy group and stay-at-home-mom activities. If you've ever attended one of these mommy meet-ups you know that all conversation is pretty superficial and everyone keeps it PC. Playgroups become a sound board for discovering what is normal and airing concerns.

Little Billy isn't sleeping through the night.

Brighton has weird color poop.

I've had one boob three sizes smaller than the other ever since I stopped breast feeding.

It was at one of these mundane playgroups that what will forever be known as, 'the vibrator debacle' occurred.

It was spring and we were all gathered at a nice suburban home of one of the moms. The turn out was larger than normal and moms of age four and under were scattered all over the single story home and back yard.

I happened to be in the living room, so I had a front row seat when two of the three year old boys came out playing swords with sparkly hot pink and  lime green vibrating dildos. The intrepid scavenging explorers had gotten them out of the nightstand of the hosting mom's room. They thought they were light sabers. Dunt, dun dunnnn

That's not a light saber!

 OH THE HORROR. All conversation screeched to a halt. The only thing that could be heard was the hum of the vibrator and giggling glee of two 'sword fighting' small boys. Everyone was frozen in place unable to process what they were seeing until one quick thinking mom ran over and plucked the vibes from the kid's grips. That broke the spell and everyone was reacting.

I remember my eyes watered I was trying so hard to hold back my very inappropriate laughter.

I think this was the best thing that ever happened to our mommies group. From then on the group was splint down the middle. One side were moms that thought this was funny and felt horrible for the humiliated hosting mom. On the other side were the ladies of delicate sensibilities that were deeply offended by this occurrence.

This was years before that book that will not be named started making it normal for moms to be getting freaky in the bedroom.

Talk about an ice breaker. Turns out if you have kids you are going to get caught having sex at some point and if you have kinky toys your kid is going to discover them somewhere between adolescence and college.

My kid has stolen our handcuffs and other ties to play cops and robbers. A small flogger was discovered and used for the young adventures of Indiana Jones. We've since found a better, more secure, hiding place for these items.

Hopefully my kid never remembers these things. My brothers and I discovered my dads Viagra with some sexy costumes and g-strings in his sock draw when we were in our twenties. When you're in your twenties that shit is burned into your brain. I'm a little more open minded. Good for my parents. My brothers don't feel nearly as accepting. To this day just mentioning that occurrence sends my brothers into a fit ending in the fetal position.

"Vibrator debacles' happen. We ladies that were understanding and thought 'the vibrator debacle' was humorous went on to have long standing and much deeper friendships with one another. Although most of us have moved away and rarely see each other we still have the kind of bond in which we could call or email each other about the most scandalous intimate details of our lives without blinking.

So hide your naughty paraphernalia well Kinky Moms and take heart. You are not alone. 

The Book Effect

My young single girlfriend texted me the other day, I think I've been watching too much porn. I now get aroused any time I put on earphones. That was hilarious but it also got me thinking.

As humans we are easily conditioned. How many times do you see something you enjoy or find humorous and want to hit a 'like' button? I listen to so much Pandora Radio I now automatically try to hit a 'thumbs up' button when I enjoy a song on my ipod.

How many weird conditioned responses do I have from reading too much erotica?

I've mentioned before I get wet in the panties every time I hear or see the word trews. I believe this was from a year of obsessively reading medieval romance. I'm sure when I finally get down to reading Game of Thrones I will find it far more arousing than George R.R. Martin intended.

I hear the sex scenes are even hotter in the book.

Although based on all the sex depicted on the show, and characters like Khal Drogo, I could be wrong.

Too much menage; I now see two guys and a girl out together I naturally assume the girl is involved with both guys. The too much menage thing has also effected my husband. I often tell him about the books I'm reading and I went through a long stint where I was reading menage exclusively.

You know they're getting freaky later!!

We were watching Christmas With Holly on the Hallmark channel and they mentioned it was based off a Lisa Kleypas's novel. I said, "Oh, I love Lisa Kleypas." My husband then assumed that Holly married all the brothers. I never followed Ms.Kleypas to her contemporary romances so I've never read the actual book but it completely makes sense for the movie. I couldn't help think it myself.

Honestly, had Holly ended up with all three brothers I would have read that book.

Alas, when your husband assumes every character based off a book you've read is in poly-amorous relationship it's time to scale back.

The most innocently phrased, Get on your knees, kneeling and/or just seeing people kneeling makes me instantly wet from reading too much BDSM. Instructed yoga and meditation can get down right uncomfortable. I mean, I'm not just kneeling, there is a room full of kneeling people. How can they be so relaxed?! My mind automatically fills with filthy things.

A room full of this...

And my mind is like this.

My next one may surprise you. Reading too many curvaceous, or bbw heroines gave me body image issues. Seriously. I don't have that many curves and I started feeling really unsexy for my lack of attributes. 

I'm not sure how it happened. I wasn't actively seeking out full figured heroines, but as I went down my TBR list, one read after another featured luscious ripe heroines. Each ones breasts, hips and thighs more plump than the last. I felt down right scrappy by the last book. 

I may be the minority but sometimes I need a heroine with a set of average tits and has to work really hard to plump up her bony butt. I've been known to do squats in heels. I'm half Asian and white. My ass natural concaves into duck butt if I don't do squats daily. 

She knows!

All the heroines with small breasts have round thighs and butt. I just need one assless heroine. Is that too much to ask?

Another trigger phrase for me is good girl. When someone throws me a good girl, no matter how patronizing, sarcastic or jokingly said, my reaction is down right embarrassing. I'm not sure if that's the books or just my submissive tendencies. Get's me every time. 

Last but not least, too much Tracy St. John Clans of Kalquor. Besides hankering for some DP action, I found myself continually disappointed that my husbands cock didn't smell like cinnamon. I was actually thinking about doing a sugar and cinnamon melted mixture to smear on it but Mr.Cara vetoed the crap out of that idea. Very unsporting of him!!

So what are your 'too much' triggers? Crave kippers for breakfast after too much regency? Have you added twas and alas to your vocabulary after too much historical romance? I started saying petunia in place of ass after too much KMM Fever series.

How have your books been effecting you?

The Guide That Will Set You Free

Amazon and I have had a tumultuous relationship this past year. Although AMZ has always been there for me when I didn't want to put on pants to go shopping, AMZ has been cock blocking my book searches and started an annoying habit of showing me every author BUT the author I'm looking for.

What the fuck Amazon? 

Turns out Amazon can't figure out how to put an Adult Setting under Manage Kindle on their page. 

Now if I can't remember an erotica book title I'm left scrolling through pages upon pages before, maybe, finding even one book by the author I'm looking for.

I haven't been this frustrated since I was a kid and my brothers played keep away, holding my favorite things just out of reach. 

Way to bring back the trauma of my youth Amazon.

What is more, I like to buy local and shop small businesses. Buying from All Romance, Ellora's Cave, Bookstrand, Loose-Id, Smashwords, Evernight Publishing, ect really appeals to me. These are the e-tailers that have been supporting erotic writers from the beginning.

I really wanted to buy from other e-tailers but I didn't know how and Google wasn't being very forthcoming with the ebook conversion information I was seeking. Amazon (of course) didn't exactly have a step by step guide either. If they do I couldn't find it.

I'm the least tech savvy person I know and my Kindle was the first of it's kind. She's been through a lot. I've had to piece her back together after more than one bad spill and lately I've had to 'sync and check for items' for every new purchase.

I adore my Kindle (Princess Buttercup) so much that I sucked it up and embraced the fact that I was going to have to buy all my books from Amazon.

I was complacent for a while. Then I started noticing a lot of the authors I like release their new books on their publisher's site before going to major e-tailers like Amazon and B&N. Totally understandable but I'm an instant gratification girl. I want it the second it's available from where ever it's available from. Not to mention the missed freebies.

After much research and found threads on authors FB pages I grew bold enough to try a download. I 'bought' a free book I wasn't emotionally invested in just in case I couldn't figure it out. I'm glad I went this route for the test run. It took me a couple tries to figure it out and I would have been screaming in frustration had I been trying to upload a book I'd been longing to read.

So for all of you with ancient Kindles or like me are not tech savvy, this is for you.

How To Transfer A Book Purchased From A Random E-Tailer Onto Your Kindle Guide

1. Go log onto your 'Amazon Account'. 'Manage Kindle'. 'Manage Your Devise'. Find your Kindle's email address. Example: PrincessButtercup_19@kindle.com. Write it down for later.
   
   
2. Go to 'Personal Document Settings' under 'Your Kindle Account'. Under 'Approved Personal Document E-Mail List' mark your personal email approved. If it's not present click, 'Add New Approved Address'. Put the email address you will be sending the book from. Most likely your person email.
   
   
3. Now you are ready to buy the book. When given the format option, like on Loose-Id you want to 'select format' choose Mobipocket-prc, or just prc. They will send you an email in which you download the book onto your computer from.
   
   
   Some sites like All Romance, you buy the book in all formats, then download it on your computer directly from the site. It will convert for you when you download. No need to choose prc.
   
   
   Bookstrand takes a little longer to set up an account and purchase the books, but you type in your Kindle address when setting up the account. Make sure to add @bookstrand.com to your 'approved email list' on your Amazon account. Then you get the option of having the book downloaded directly to your Kindle and or Kindle account. Word of warning, make sure @bookstand.com is on your 'approved email list' before you buy the book if you want to use this method.
   
   Every site is a little different but no matter what, you'll get your book.
   
   
4. Now that you have the book on your computer, it's time to go to your email. Send the downloaded book as an attachment to your Kindle email. In the subject box put 'convert'.
   
   
5. Go to your Amazon account, 'Manage Kindle'. The book should be in your library. It can take up to three minutes for the book to show up in the library. On the right of the book title is an 'Actions' button. Click that and then click, 'Deliver to my Kindle'. 
   
   
   Make sure the wireless connection on your Kindle is on! If it doesn't show up with in 30 seconds hit 'sync and check for items'.
   
   

   Side Note:  When you are done reading and remove book from device, it will  delete book from Kindle device.  No need to worry, the book may not show on your devices archives (depending on your model) but it will still be in your online archives.

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   That's all it takes. If I can do it so can you. Any further issues you can email Amazon Kindle tech support or ask me. I'm kind of an expert now. ; )
   
   
   To start out, download a couple free reads from few different e-tailers to get the hang of it. Once you do, you'll find it's really quick and easy. 
   
   
   
   
   
   Go forth and try it out my newly liberated readers!!
   
   
   
   
   Here's some e-tailer links to get you started.
   
   
   Loose-Id @http://www.loose-id.com/
   
   
   Smashwords @http://www.smashwords.com/
   
   
   BookStrand @http://www.bookstrand.com/
   
   
   All Romance @http://www.allromanceebooks.com/
   
   
   Evernight Publishing @http://www.evernightpublishing.com/
   
   
   Elloras Cave @http://www.ellorascave.com/
   
   
   Changling Press LLC @http://www.changelingpress.com/
   
   
   Cobblestone Press @http://www.cobblestone-press.com/
   
   
   Liquid Silver Books @http://www.liquidsilverbooks.com/