Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Book Effect

My young single girlfriend texted me the other day, I think I've been watching too much porn. I now get aroused any time I put on earphones. That was hilarious but it also got me thinking.

As humans we are easily conditioned. How many times do you see something you enjoy or find humorous and want to hit a 'like' button? I listen to so much Pandora Radio I now automatically try to hit a 'thumbs up' button when I enjoy a song on my ipod.

How many weird conditioned responses do I have from reading too much erotica?

I've mentioned before I get wet in the panties every time I hear or see the word trews. I believe this was from a year of obsessively reading medieval romance. I'm sure when I finally get down to reading Game of Thrones I will find it far more arousing than George R.R. Martin intended.

I hear the sex scenes are even hotter in the book.

Although based on all the sex depicted on the show, and characters like Khal Drogo, I could be wrong.

Too much menage; I now see two guys and a girl out together I naturally assume the girl is involved with both guys. The too much menage thing has also effected my husband. I often tell him about the books I'm reading and I went through a long stint where I was reading menage exclusively.

You know they're getting freaky later!!

We were watching Christmas With Holly on the Hallmark channel and they mentioned it was based off a Lisa Kleypas's novel. I said, "Oh, I love Lisa Kleypas." My husband then assumed that Holly married all the brothers. I never followed Ms.Kleypas to her contemporary romances so I've never read the actual book but it completely makes sense for the movie. I couldn't help think it myself.

Honestly, had Holly ended up with all three brothers I would have read that book.

Alas, when your husband assumes every character based off a book you've read is in poly-amorous relationship it's time to scale back.

The most innocently phrased, Get on your knees, kneeling and/or just seeing people kneeling makes me instantly wet from reading too much BDSM. Instructed yoga and meditation can get down right uncomfortable. I mean, I'm not just kneeling, there is a room full of kneeling people. How can they be so relaxed?! My mind automatically fills with filthy things.

A room full of this...

And my mind is like this.

My next one may surprise you. Reading too many curvaceous, or bbw heroines gave me body image issues. Seriously. I don't have that many curves and I started feeling really unsexy for my lack of attributes. 

I'm not sure how it happened. I wasn't actively seeking out full figured heroines, but as I went down my TBR list, one read after another featured luscious ripe heroines. Each ones breasts, hips and thighs more plump than the last. I felt down right scrappy by the last book. 

I may be the minority but sometimes I need a heroine with a set of average tits and has to work really hard to plump up her bony butt. I've been known to do squats in heels. I'm half Asian and white. My ass natural concaves into duck butt if I don't do squats daily. 
She knows!

All the heroines with small breasts have round thighs and butt. I just need one assless heroine. Is that too much to ask?

Another trigger phrase for me is good girl. When someone throws me a good girl, no matter how patronizing, sarcastic or jokingly said, my reaction is down right embarrassing. I'm not sure if that's the books or just my submissive tendencies. Get's me every time. 

Last but not least, too much Tracy St. John Clans of Kalquor. Besides hankering for some DP action, I found myself continually disappointed that my husbands cock didn't smell like cinnamon. I was actually thinking about doing a sugar and cinnamon melted mixture to smear on it but Mr.Cara vetoed the crap out of that idea. Very unsporting of him!!

So what are your 'too much' triggers? Crave kippers for breakfast after too much regency? Have you added twas and alas to your vocabulary after too much historical romance? I started saying petunia in place of ass after too much KMM Fever series.

How have your books been effecting you?

No comments:

Post a Comment