Chicken Soup for the Spanko's Soul

Last week I was lousy with illness.

I have found it beneficial to feel lively in spirit when feeling poor in the health department. So while laid up and miserable, I found two feel good books with feisty heroines that were the chicken soup for my inner spanko's souls. 

                Amzn

Caitlin is in a bit of a 'woo girl' phase. She meets her hero when she's a tad inebriated. (understatement) And like the awesome hero Sexy Simon is, he cares for the passed out Cait. Despite the fact that he meets her at her worst, he is smitten. 

Simon being the upstanding guy he is, gives Cait an unappreciated lecture about over imbibing and she dubs him Serious Simon and begins avoiding him when possible. Although Simon is hot his appeal can't change the fact that Cait thinks he is a total stuffed cushion. When she finds herself constantly thrust into his company she discovers there's a lot more to Simon that meets the eye. Then he spanks her in a reproving manner. Feeling the obvious link from her tender bottom to her soft heart, Cait and begins to fall in love with him. 

Call Me Yours by Casey McKay is funny, sweet, and hot. I know Cait is supposed to be this super spoiled girl but I found her pretty relateable.  Her dad has cut her off, she's lost her job, and her roommate. Yet she really pulls herself up by her boot straps and does what she has to do to pay her bills and pursue her dreams. What else is a girl to do but become a phone sex operator? 

I loved Simon and Cait. They had great chemistry and all together the book was a very entertaining read. I've been needing more quirky romances with spankings in my life. Call Me Yours delivered.

          Amzn

Candence has reached an old time low. Her dancing career is over. She feels a bit like her life is over. She has a serious case of pity-party-table-of-one syndrome. Which is completely understandable, but she's surpassed her allotted twenty minutes a day of feeling sorry for herself by about twenty-three hours and forty minutes. 

 The great thing about Candence is she has a go-get'em attitude that would rival that of a Army General. Only problem with that is she refuses to see that she's making her physical limitations worse and possibly causing herself permanent damage. 

Lucky for her (unlucky for her bottom) Dr. Marcus knows just the cure for a stubborn gal who wont stay in bed when she is supposed to. Candence is also a slow learner, so many punishment spanking are administered. 

I loved Marcus and Candence. The secondary characters were just as sweet and wonderful as the heroine and hero themselves. Last Dance for Candence by Maren Smith will bring a tear to the eye and is great to read when laid up in bed. If you don't come out of this book feeling heartwarmed and a bit misty eyed you read it wrong.

P.S. Since I have a bit of a such a mixed bag of readers I feel like I should put out a warning. If you're not a big fan of domestic discipline (DD books) or sexual and nonsexual adult punishments, (spankings, timeouts, figgings--not to be confused with figgy pudding) this one may not for you. Reader discretion is advised. 

For more books by Casey McKay please visit @ http://www.caseymckay.com/ or  http://baronetpress.com/ 

For more books by Maren Smith please visit @ http://badgirlscorner.wordpress.com/

*Do you have a book that made you feel better when you were feeling under the weather? Please share! 

Wait...what?

Have you ever been really into a book then read a line that made you stop and think, Wait...what?

Amazon<---FREE for the moment

I recently read Reckless by Sky Jordan. It's a beautiful people type steamy romance. The sex is hot and heavy, but other than teasing butt puckers and sucking ball sacks, it was vanilla. I normally pass over the beautiful people  Hollywood/models/rockstar/actor    type books. I picked this one up on a whim and was surprised by how much I loved it. It has snappy dialogue. Excellent build up. I could feel every emotion the characters experienced from beginning to end. I totally recommend. The thing is, there were one or a few, Wait...what?, moments.

Wait...what? Moment 1: Our heroine Lexi is a gorgeous. She used to be a model. She designs dresses now. She has obtained our hero Jax's cell phone number and is texting him, without him knowing what she looks like. This is one of my favorite scenes in the book. They start up this flirtation, and when it gets naughty you can feel the heat. At some point he asks her what she looks like. We get her mental dialogue of her wanting to play down her looks so that he doesn't think he's flirting with female perfection   which she is. Then she goes on to say that she's tallish, (I got the impression she's around 5'8'') has long blonde hair, and blue eyes. Her measurements (she gives after he gives his) are 34-28-34...

Mentally I was thinking, Huh, she didn't really play down her body at all. 34-28-34 is a regular size 6. Whether you're a short chubby size 6 or a tall thin size 6, chances are your measurements are close to those.

Then later in the book he's feeling her body in the dark and says she's lied. He realizes her body is so much more smokin' hot than 34-28-34. Wait..what? Yeah   outside of the fact that dude could measure the difference between say 34 and 32   not only did dude just dis size 6 and over women, but our heroine thought it was a tragic enough number to be misleading.

My inner southern said, "Well, bless their hearts."

This is Meahgan Kausman. A size 8 swimsuit model. 

She got pissed by how much they photoshopped her pics, so she posted this on her blog. 

I went to the archives of my husband's Playboy collection for this one. For those of you unfamiliar, the centerfold of Playboy has the model's measurements and questionable weight statistics. While there are tiny 5'9'' women who measure in at 32-24-32, there are also women that are 34-27-36. And they are Playboy models. Models known to have to be young and perfectly proportioned. Just saying, if you want to high ball your heroine's proportions maybe throw a number in the mix bigger than 34.

Wait...what? Moment 2: Lexi goes down on Jax in this totally hot blow-job scene. While she's on her knees   with his cock in her mouth  he protests, and she covers his mouth with her hand. Wait...what? Dude is like 6'4''. How long are her arms? Is she standing? When did she take his dick out of her mouth?

Wait...what? Moment 3: Later in the same scene, she's on her knees sucking his junk til' it hit her trachea and, He bent at the waist until he pressed his face to her head, held her head between his legs...
His face...to her head..in his lap? I know a lot of guys do yoga nowadays, and Ron Jeremy used to be able to suck is own dick before the gut got in the way, but, Wait...what? Is he missing vertebrae?

Wait...what? Moment 4: Last, but not least, we are immersed in a hot lovin' scene when we get a mental snapshot of Jax thinking, He longed to look into her eyes and talk to her while they drove each other towards the peak. I actually almost missed this one. Then my brain replayed the sentence and I was all, Wait...what? Did he just wish he could talk while they were banging? Why, yes. Yes he did.

Over all this book left me feeling the same way I would after watching a really good chick-flick. Satisfied on a painting-toenails-while-eating-chocolate emotional level. And slightly horny. Jax and Lexi's sex scenes made me want to get dirty. I will happily re-read this book some day. And I'll probably notice all those great wait...what? moments all over again. They did not distract from my enjoyment of this book.

The Loved One Spanking Teaser

This summer I've written much more than I've read. I've got books backed up on my kindle like cars on a LA freeway during rush hours. I can't seem to stop myself from clicking the buy button. My willpower when it comes to books is sorely lacking.

Buy books. Our habits make us buy books.

While I'm busy building my willpower muscle, I'd like to share some of what has kept me from reading. This is a snippet from my recently finished story--currently titled The Loved One. Our heroine Delia and our hero Jake are about to lose their spanking virginity.

       “Now I owe you a spanking.” 
       Her cloud of contentment cleared a bit at his words. “Spanking? For what?”

       He brought himself down to cover her again. His weight felt delicious as he nibbled kisses down her neck. He paused in his kisses giving her a serious look. “Honestly, I've wanted to spank you since the day I saw you lying over that hospital bed, this delectable bottom covered in those big floral panties.” So saying he gave her tush a squeeze. “I won't ever be able to see big floral panties without getting an erection ever again.”

       She giggled and he continued, “Then you stole my wallet and I knew I didn't just want to spank you. You deserved a spanking,”

       At this she huffed, “Borrowed. I borrowed your money. I left all your credit cards, IDs and wallet.”

       He just gave her a stern look before continuing, “Then there is the fact you went out last night wearing little more than an eye patch as a shirt.”

       “I was wearing quite a bit more than an eye patch!”

       He continued as if she hadn't spoken, “And you proceeded to get so drunk you ended up puking and passing out on me. What if I hadn't been around last night, Del? What if some other guy had taken you home?”

       When put like that, she felt chastised. She had just needed to let go for a while, but drinking herself to oblivion at a bar wasn't the way to do it. She wanted to crawl into a hole as she remembered getting sick in front of him. A little bit on him. And in front of Steven. Maybe she'd feel better after a spanking. In a small voice she asked, “You really want to give me a spanking?”

       “Yes,”

       “I've never had a spanking before.”

       “Never? Not even when you were little?”

       “No, I was in and out of foster care. Foster parents aren't allowed to spank us. Only their own kids. The ones I was sent to mostly made me pray for forgiveness. And pray I didn't end up like my mama. And my mama, when she had me, was more likely to slap my face than my bottom. I got good at not being noticeable.”

       He pulled a face of concern, “Maybe this isn't a good idea.”

       “No” She grabbed him before he could roll off her. “Please, I think you should spank me.” She wasn't sure why she was now trying to talk him into spanking her, but she knew at that moment that if he didn't spank her she'd be a little bit devastated. He wanted to spank her, she'd seen that desire clear across his face, and she wanted nothing more than to please him. “I do deserve a spanking Jake. I've been a naughty girl.”

        She said it matter of fact, but interest flared to life in his eyes, and a certain interest indicator pressed against her belly through his jeans, like she had been trying to be dirty. He was smiling again and it felt like lying in the sunshine. “I've never spanked a woman before.”

       She liked hearing that. She shouldn't be so thrilled that she was going to be the first woman he hit, but that's not what it felt like. It felt more intimate. Sexy even.

       He got up and she instantly missed his warmth. He pulled her up, kissing her deeply before easing her down over his lap. She had never felt so vulnerable and exposed. He ran a hand down her back, smoothing over her bottom and thighs. The caress made her want to purr. She wiggled on his lap against the erection at her hip. 

With the delivery of one Dear John letter and a set of divorce papers, Delia Myers is on a her way to self discovery. First stop: Embracing she's a terrible judge of character. Especially when it comes to men.

Jake Forrester is beyond charming, and hunky enough to have every female in a hundred mile radius panting after him. Basically everything she is trying to avoid. Too bad he's been determined to chase after her from the second he's laid eyes on her over sized floral granny panties.

She may run, but can she hide from love?

Warning; Contains one no-good, cheating ex-husband, a heroine with a propensity to make a run for it, and a hero that has a new found love for spanking a certain sassy woman who runs from him.  

The Loved One is a contemporary romance with spanking--because those are the best kind.

My Kind Of Wholesome

I just finished a book that I adored. It was a recommend and I'm sorry to say I can't remember who. I believe it was an author, (Eloisa James, maybe), who posted it on her FB feed as a book that she loved. It's not an erotica, but I loved it enough to had to share.

Amazon

Apples Should Be Red by Penny Watson

86 pages

Recipe for Thanksgiving Dinner: 

Start with a 62 year old politically incorrect, chain-smoking, hard-cussing curmudgeon.  

Add 59 sexually repressed know-it-all in pearls. 

Throw in a beer can-turkey, a battle for horticultural supremacy, and a nudist next-door neighbor. 

Serve on paper plates, garnished with garden gnome. 

Tastes like happily ever after.  

This is an over-fifty romantic comedy novella that is wholesome in an unwholesome way. I adored this book. It's like Clint Eastwood's character, from the movie Grand Torino, got his own love story. I love rude old men. They cut through the bullshit and say what they mean, but don't always mean what they say. Apples Should Be Red was delightfully entertaining, and deep in unexpected ways. This story was funny, touching, and a little hot. I'm always impressed and appreciate when an over-fifty book can turn me on. It makes me feel better about aging. 

Thank You Penny Watson

For more on Penny Watson please visit her @ http://pennywatsonbooks.com/applesshouldbered.htm

Book Covers and the Beaded Doorway

There was a musty old book store where I lived while growing up. My mom used to go in there to buy and sell her romance novels. In the back corner of the store was a beaded-doorway with an Adults Only sign over it. I can't see door-beads without thinking of that sign and all the naughty possibilities that lie beyond.

The few covers I saw, as a sneaky kid, were plain with text across the front. All except one that depicted a couple, clearly from the seventies, with long hair and full bushes. These people were not the pretty artistic cover models of today.

picture these two, but full frontal

Now those racy covers that get our blood pumping may be a thing of the past. As rare as beaded-doorways. Perhaps Amazon could put a beaded doorway on their adult section steering us all in that direction, instead of putting tags on covers they deem too pornagraphic or showing too much skin with a provingly failing system.

I hate to say they're at it again, because that would indicate they stopped. Their ever changing rules and regulations on book submissions is an ever present entity. Amazon is a pain in the behind, but as the biggest seller of e-books, authors need to grab the lube and hope against hope that Amazon will be gentle.

I was going through naughty book covers and I found a stack from the beaded-doorway days. I just had to share. These would have definitely gotten tagged by Amazon   or so I thought. Four of these came up on Amazon with their original covers, in a regular search.

sounds hot

wowzer

I bet someone's going to get spanked

retro NA Rock Band erotica!!!

Ooh My

I'm intrigued 

they're about as high school aged as Luke Perry on 90210

The 1970's were a special time. Going through many titles I realized incest was super hot in the 70's. It really shed some light on works by many authors. Had incest not been as big in the 70's would we have gotten The House of Yes? Would George R.R. Martin not been mad for matching up siblings? Would John Warren Wells have skipped out on the incest interviews for his book Taboo Breakers? 

I'd like to think we still would have. We already had works like Lolita, and Juliette. Readers love to be titillated. No matter the cover.

*Without looking them up; can you guess which beaded-doorway covers made it on Amazon?

Attack Of The Freebies

You may have noticed your FB newsfeed being inundated with books available for free right now. There are so many, it may be hard to choose. I snatched up the books with catchy warning labels. These are the books I've read so far, and how I feel about them:

            Amazon

Catchy Warning Label; **Warning: this book is full of mind-blowing sex, spanking, and dirty words. Proceed at your own risk-- spare panties may be required.**

I give this book a resounding MEH. With 104 five star reviews it's worth checking out, but don't be surprised if --like me--you are disappointed. While I was shocked and entertained, by the end of this 82 page cliffhanger my panties were underwhelmingly dry. The anti-hero Vaughn was just too much of a douche for me to really enjoy the sex. This book is full of sex, only one spanking, and tons of dirty words-- that I was really not impressed with. I would love to know what happens in books 2-4, but I'm waffling on whether or not I'll buy them.

             Amazon

Catchy Warning Label; **Warning: a bad-boy hero who's good with his hands, a heroine who's trying to be good. Contains liberal consumption of Scotch-whiskey, a Highland Games competition, men in kilts wielding large poles, and a potential Sarah McLaughlin of the non-musical kind.

I give this book TWO THUMBS way UP. It's a romance with some steam. This one actually made my panties damper than the uber-sex, Seduction book. It's book one in the McLaughlin series. Each book covers a McLaughlin sibling. I happily bought, and read, the next two books. The only thing that would have made these books better is spanking.

Really, when are we going to start enforcing a one spanking minimum on romances? All I'm saying is, if armpit hair selfies can be a trending thing, so can spanking in plain romances.

           Amazon

Plain Warning Label (but intriguing nonetheless); Warning:....Ends on a cliffhanger, Contains M/F/M and M/M loving. The story is told from three different POV's. Written in British English. Graphic descriptions, sexual situations and strong language. <----I would like to add it's a paranormal vampire book. That little fact doesn't become known until chapter three. So it's a British, quasi-new adult, rockband, mmf, paranormal vampire book. And yes, it's as exhausting to read as it sounds.

I give this book a WHY? As in; why would a writer go back and tell each chapter from each characters POV? It's so effing redundant. Not to mention, many of those recaps were just going through the motions, and lacked the emotional integrity I believe the author was trying to convey by doing this whole cacamayme chapter recap thing. I've read many stories told first person, mulit-POV's, that kept the flow and really showcased the emotional state of each character. I'm sad this wasn't one of them.

I wanted to like this book really badly. By chapter thirteen I wanted to bang my head against a hard surface.

I would love to know what happens to these characters. I'm assuming they all have dirty hot three-way sex, fall in love, and live happily ever after. I'm going to have to keep on assuming that, because I just can't keep reading the same chapter over and over, like a bad teenage girl's wet dream version of Ground Hogs Day.

27 of the 53 reviews on Amazon are five star. Those readers obviously have more patients than I do. Read at your own discretion.

           Kit Rocha

Okay, no real warning label. This is the first 145 pages. A free preview. This book is being loaded onto e-retail sites right now. But if you need 145 pages to get beyond addicted (pun intended) click on the Kit Rocha link then download the Beyond Addiction Preview link on the author page. Their PDF file jives with Kindle.

Freebies (still free) I have yet to read:

The Hazards of Skinny Dipping 
Amazon

A Night Of Misbehaving 
Amazon

Teach Me Love
Amazon

Pick Me
Amazon

Scientific Method
Amazon

**If you've read a good freebie that is still free or on sale, please share!!!**\

Happy Reading!!

Crashing The Net

I just read Crashing The Net by Samantha Wayland, and I loved it. Not that I'm surprised. Samantha Wayland is fast becoming one of my all time favorite go-to authors. She has six books out, including this one, and I can happily recommend any, and all of them. She has some of the best gay and bi-sexual heroes along with awesome possum, toe curling, chemistry between her characters. This book happens to be a M/m erotica that had me wishing I had a prostate. If this book had a face, I would want to ride it.

Yep, I just put that out there.

Amz 

Crashing The Net by Samantha Wayland

Mike comes to Moncton wanting nothing more than to play for the Ice Cats and finally live on his own terms. He's broke, bruised, and covered from head to toe in cheap lube, but he isn't going to let that stop him. All he needs is a place to live and some time to figure out how to reconcile who he really is with who everyone wants him to be.  

Dumping three gallons of lube on the new kid is just another day at the office for Alexei. He knows exactly who is he is: a goalie on the ice, a prankster in the locker room, and a man who knows better than to share his private life with anyone. He's let people in before and it's taught him that if he can't have what he really wants, it's better to be alone.  

Despite their apparent differences, an unlikely friendship grows. Neither of them could ever have guessed how much they really have in common.

Mike is young and super vulnerable. He's not out as a gay man and he's feeling pretty secluded. He has an awesome friend in older, wiser Alexei, but he also has a massive crush on the guy too. Alexei has a major hard-on for Mike from the moment he's sees him, but he's got it locked down. While he's completely drawn to Mike, and takes him under his wing   wishing the kid would lose his sad lost look    Alexei  knows better than to develop those kind of feelings for a strait twenty-two year old.

That is, until Mike makes his big confession. Then all bets are off.

Alexei is a top. He's a controller in the bedroom, and he likes it rough. Who doesn't appreciate that? Mike appreciated it a ton. I know I sure did. I wanted Alexei to bite and spank my bottom, too. He's a hero I could get behind, or under   however he'd like it. While the sex is vaguely bdsm, I wouldn't call it an overt D/s book. The topping and naughty play is not too much more than what's present in any other book Samantha Wayland has written. And there is no actual bondage.

A reviewer poo pooed the book because of the bdsm in it. After I read the book I was scratching my head. There is mild kink in this book. Mild kink with a capital MILD. Anyone who is actually looking for spanking and bondage will not find a lot of that in this book. Anyone that isn't into that kind of play would be....Well, I'm sorry... I don't know. What's that like? Is it weird?

Anyways, I loved the story. There are some editing misses. Minuscule really. They weren't anything that distracted from my over all love for this story, and I refuse to punish the book for them. Five stars all the way for me.

P.S. If you've read The Hat Trick series you've met Mike and Alexei before, but since this book is three years prior to those books, it is a standalone.

Three Cheers For Samantha Wayland!!!

For more from Samantha Wayland, please visit her @ http://www.samanthawayland.com/