Friday, October 10, 2014

Anal Punishment or Play: Hot or Not?

Thank you Corinne Alexander for hosting this spanking round table discussion. I haven't participated in a long time, but when I saw the topic I knew I had to post.

Anal Punishment or Play: Hot or Not?

If you've read my blog you know which side of the street I stand on this topic. I love the butt sex. I love the idea of butt sex and I love reading about butt sex. I wasn't always so accepting, though. Like many readers, I spent much of my life blissfully unaware that women participate in and <gasp> enjoy anal sex. It wasn't until my early twenties that my bubble of innocence burst.

I was at first horrified and saddened. There's a much more hospital hole right up front, I thought. It's called the vagina. It's self lubricating and comes with a super power button at the top of the opening. If you press the button fireworks go off. I was sure if gay men had a vagina between their ball-sack and butt hole they'd be using it instead of the ass.

I had friends that were having wishy-washy anal experiences and a I was firmly on the exit only shelf. That was until I read NJ Walters Christina's Tapestry. That was the first DP menage book I had ever read and call me intrigued. I was very interested in exploring that fantasy further. Then around the same time I read Robin Schone's The Lover. Then Gabiel's Woman.

Those were total game changers for me. In all honesty my husband should have written these authors letters of thanks. After I read Gabriel's Woman I told my husband I would like to try anal. He was surprised since I'd told him early in our relationship that was not on the table. Ever.

He played it cool and acted like it was no big deal...

But inside I know he was all...

I'm now very pro-anal but I'm also pro doing it properly. Many people do it wrong and it can be damaging to the anal canal. Knowing how influential books are in my life I actually had a hard time reading easy A books. This is when the fictional characters in your book are swept up in the moment and decide to enjoy some anal with virgin ass. Our hero shoves his great big appendage in the tiny untried opening on the first try. No problem, bleeding, or screams of horrific pain.

We all know there is no such thing as easy A. Easy A is as big a fantasy as the woman that can eat whatever she wants and only gains weight in her chest. Her ever perky chest.

It wasn't until a few years after anal started regularly showing up in my books that I read a book that featured anal sex as a punishment. As in the female wasn't necessarily supposed to enjoy. It was Morgan Hawke's Victorious Star. I felt somewhat conflicted. It had a great dubious consent feel which is a favorite of mine. But, I was still having hang-ups about people understanding that anal sex should be pleasurable and done safely and accurately.

 I'm like a walking PSA, I know.

Please practice safe, well lubricated anal sex.
 Always warm up and stretch the hole before use.

Victorious Star is a super sci-fi and is fully immersed  in a very fantastical world, so I accepted the anal punishment and hazing.

The first time I really read a contemporary, "You've been a naughty girl so you're going to get painfully f*&%ed in the bottom," was hard for me. I blew hot and cold. I didn't like that is was being used as something that should be disliked and avoided. Again my inner PSA voice was getting loud. It was much harder for me to read. I think part of it was this particular book. I've read others stories by authors like Natasha Knight and I loved the anal punishment.

When I thought about it I realized that most BDSM books I read feature anal sex as being fairly punishing, if not meant for punishment. It's really about how it's done. I love the gasp and whimper of a first timer, or someone who hasn't done it in a long time. I love the acceptance along with the delicious feelings of being violated. I can mentally feel the nervous excitement as well as pleasure that is about to be had. It's such an intense sensation.

I'm still not a big fan of a character that isn't really enjoying the anal sex. I do however love when there is a ton of trepidation and begging not to do it and it's somewhat forced, but enjoyed. That is my favorite to read. Whether it's a cock or a plug being forced in there, I'm about it.

Now for enemas and figging. They both are really growing in popularity as anal punishments. They're almost as big as spanking these days and seem to always be involved in naughty bottom punishments. Enemas are featured frequently in BDSM slave, pet, and age play. I personally prefer extreme vagueness when it comes to Enemas. Extreme. Vagueness.

This is for two reason.

The first (and super big) reason is I've had enemas. The result is always the same. I vomit when I get flushed out. I vomit then I go to the bathroom for hours after. Painful stomach cramps are involved. I cannot read enema play without thinking of the very realistic ramifications I personally experience.

It is what it is. And it isn't sexy. (I'd make a lousy porn star)

The second reason is because of my damn inner PSA!! I've got Debby Downer reminding me it's not recommended or medically sound to do in real life. I get the appeal. It seems like a great idea. Who doesn't want to have a super clean hole to bang? All I can think about is how it weakens the anal canal, strips the lining and promotes easy tearing to the rectal lining. It's actually recommended to wait two to three days after an enema before participating in anal intercourse of any kind.

That goes through my head with the voice from the 60 Minutes guy--and the ticking--every time I read an after enema hard core sex scene.

As for figging. It's just okay. I've read it plenty of times but haven't done it in real life. It's a shrug for me. Nothing about speaks to me. I get how it could be appealing. I'm actually surprised by my lack of enthusiasm about figging. It seems like it would be right up my alley. (pun not intended, but still enjoyed)

Now you know. I'm a big fan of romantic anal sex in literature and a mediocre fan of anal punishment. I have contingencies. I'm all about penetration. My favorite is reading about taking a big plug, dildo, or cock there in a punishing but well lubricated and lovingly dirty manner.

Any of that surprise you? Be sure to check out everyone's posts and join the discussion!!!


  1. Loved your post -- the humor and the honesty.

    1. Thank you!! Sometimes I think I should have a big warning at the top of my blog: TMI is about to be shared. :)

  2. GREAT post, and the graphics made me laugh.

  3. God I love you! Your posts are awesome! I totally thought figging would be right up your alley too! I never thought I had a thing for medical. Still not sure I do in real life but I've found since writing my first enema scene, it makes for an awesome punishment. Anal in general? I love it, like really love it (I know, shocking). IRL, yes, be smart about anal!!! But in fiction, I love an anal punishment scene. It's the hottest and I'm totally suspending my disbelief and not thinking about the real life stuff.

    I cannot believe I missed THIS round table of all the round table discussions!!! That was dumb!

    1. I was shocked you missed this one too! You're the queen of anal! LOL I do have to say, the more I write the more my characters are doing things I would never. But there is lube. I think I'll always have to add lube. And I may have to add soap in the bottom. I know that was mentioned in the discussion by Corinne and I'm still shocked I have never read a book with that in there!!

  4. I never fail to cringe when I read a scene including anal with no or little lube. Yikes! Fiction is just that fiction. I hope that anyone wanting to explore in real life will do lots of research first! Definitely research soap stick play before trying it! It can cause cramping too! Like anything be careful! Your post was a wonderful addition to this discussion! Thank you for participating!! I loved it!

    1. Thank you!! I will have to research the soap thing. I am totally intrigued and cannot believe I've never heard of it. I'd imagine you'd have to be careful of the brand. Some soaps crumble easily when you carve them.

      My inner PSA voice and I both fervently hope people research before they do anything that they read in a book! From spanking to chocolate sauce in her honeypot, I hope everyone thinks things through! I once did a humorous post about everything they put in a ladies vagina in erotica that you should never put in your own. I'll have to dig that one back up and repost that sometime.

  5. I love your PSA voice, Aubrey. Yeah, a lot of anal stuff in romance stories gets messed up for me based on a PSA voice too. Like I enjoy enemas (IRL and in fiction) but it seems to be from a much different place than most authors come from. Like I've talked, posted fiction about, the idea of an enema (given that a person doesn't have a physical response- the vomiting- like you) being about M/s ownership *not* humiliation. ugh yeah, and sex right after the enema? uh no. I even follow doctor-recommended things on enema and do it hours before my Master thinks anything of coming near my ass lol. I really enjoyed how you laid the process for you and coming to think about anal penetration in a positive light

    1. Thanks!! And I think you've brought up a good discussion topic: Ownership vs. Humiliation. I'm sure many people in M/s relationships like feeling humiliated, but just as many prefer feeling owned without any humiliation play involved in their relationship in any way. In my reading experience bdsm authors tend to lean towards the owned aspect and ramp that up, while DD/spanking authors tend to use humiliation arousal more often.

    2. Hm, you're right :) I should comment on that when I go onto FB to promote my Saturday Spankings. It would be interesting to see what people think on the topic. idk, I almost see DD and spanking as separate when it comes to the ownership/humiliation thing where I expect more ownership or partnership in DD with humiliation being spanking-without-a-DD framwork

  6. I read your whole post, but when I got to the part of what happens when you get enemas I had to stop myself from jumping straight down to the end and leaving this comment. I don't know you well enough, so I hope you won't be offended by what I am about to say. I have the same reaction and, while I don't know physically what causes it, I do know that you don't need to go through it. That big ol' enema bag that people think of when they think of taking an enema is NOT the correct or even safest way to give one. All you need is a 60cc syringe ($20 on eBay will get you a big box of them). All you have to do is flush out the immediate aspect of the canal, both to clean out or as a way of deepening the invasiveness of that kind of "punishment". You do not need to flood your entire lower GI to get the intended results of the activity. And seriously, :) try the ginger. You're not a big fan now, but you might feel completely differently after having experienced it, hand?

    Okay, nuff said on that. As for the rest of your post, I love the trepidation too. I also love the begging and pleading and complete reluctance to the enjoyment as he goes ahead and does what he wants to do. :)

    1. Thanks. I do do the little clean. I don't think that will ever be on my list of things I allow done to me though. And I think I'll always hear the PSA when I read the enemas. I don't begrudge enema writers or lovers!! It's just not a personal sexy trigger.

      I will say I loved your ginger scene in Last Dance For Candence and I'm not usually swayed one way or the other. It's a great scene. :)

  7. I haven't written enema play yet, but I've been thinking about it (I'll spare you my recent personal experiences, which is no way compare to yours!). But's my absolute favorite. The warming of the entire pelvic region is the most powerful aphrodesiac.

    1. I'm always leery of anything with "warming" sensations. I accidentally got warming gel in my bottom before and I was freaking out. I was sitting in the sink splashing cold water up my bum, crying "kill me now," with the dramatic flare of a gal with her ass on fire. I think that's where my skepticism surrounding figging stems from.

      I'm one to give most things a go at least once. I may have to try it. Everyone seems to love it. And if it ends in a hilariously horrific episode of what not to stick in my ass, I'll have material for a humorous TMI post. :)

  8. gah!
    it ate my reply!

    ok, trying again.
    I loved your post! and the PSA's and awesome humor and pics.

    I totally get where you are coming from, and thanks for the reminder about safety vs fiction.

    But in all honesty, we tried the ginger root, and OMG, it was amazing!
    And I'm not really an anal person.

    The heat built wonderfully.
    I was so aroused..

    We made sure not to use really super fresh ginger. ;)

    Thanks for sharing

    1. Thank you!

      LOL "I'm not really an anal person." Punny, no?

      I really am going to have to try the ginger now. :) It's inevitable. I'm super glad you brought up not using fresh. I would have not thought of that. I'm such a wimp when it comes to stuff that involves "heating" the interior of my bum.

      I'm so psyched out about it I may have to go it alone the first try. :)