Thank you Corinne Alexander for hosting this spanking round table discussion. I haven't participated in a long time, but when I saw the topic I knew I had to post.
Anal Punishment or Play: Hot or Not?
If you've read my blog you know which side of the street I stand on this topic. I love the butt sex. I love the idea of butt sex and I love reading about butt sex. I wasn't always so accepting, though. Like many readers, I spent much of my life blissfully unaware that women participate in and <gasp> enjoy anal sex. It wasn't until my early twenties that my bubble of innocence burst.
I was at first horrified and saddened. There's a much more hospital hole right up front, I thought. It's called the vagina. It's self lubricating and comes with a super power button at the top of the opening. If you press the button fireworks go off. I was sure if gay men had a vagina between their ball-sack and butt hole they'd be using it instead of the ass.
I had friends that were having wishy-washy anal experiences and a I was firmly on the exit only shelf. That was until I read NJ Walters Christina's Tapestry. That was the first DP menage book I had ever read and call me intrigued. I was very interested in exploring that fantasy further. Then around the same time I read Robin Schone's The Lover. Then Gabiel's Woman.
Those were total game changers for me. In all honesty my husband should have written these authors letters of thanks. After I read Gabriel's Woman I told my husband I would like to try anal. He was surprised since I'd told him early in our relationship that was not on the table. Ever.
He played it cool and acted like it was no big deal...
But inside I know he was all...
I'm now very pro-anal but I'm also pro doing it properly. Many people do it wrong and it can be damaging to the anal canal. Knowing how influential books are in my life I actually had a hard time reading easy A books. This is when the fictional characters in your book are swept up in the moment and decide to enjoy some anal with virgin ass. Our hero shoves his great big appendage in the tiny untried opening on the first try. No problem, bleeding, or screams of horrific pain.
We all know there is no such thing as easy A. Easy A is as big a fantasy as the woman that can eat whatever she wants and only gains weight in her chest. Her ever perky chest.
It wasn't until a few years after anal started regularly showing up in my books that I read a book that featured anal sex as a punishment. As in the female wasn't necessarily supposed to enjoy. It was Morgan Hawke's Victorious Star. I felt somewhat conflicted. It had a great dubious consent feel which is a favorite of mine. But, I was still having hang-ups about people understanding that anal sex should be pleasurable and done safely and accurately.
I'm like a walking PSA, I know.
Please practice safe, well lubricated anal sex.
Always warm up and stretch the hole before use.
Victorious Star is a super sci-fi and is fully immersed in a very fantastical world, so I accepted the anal punishment and hazing.
The first time I really read a contemporary, "You've been a naughty girl so you're going to get painfully f*&%ed in the bottom," was hard for me. I blew hot and cold. I didn't like that is was being used as something that should be disliked and avoided. Again my inner PSA voice was getting loud. It was much harder for me to read. I think part of it was this particular book. I've read others stories by authors like Natasha Knight and I loved the anal punishment.
When I thought about it I realized that most BDSM books I read feature anal sex as being fairly punishing, if not meant for punishment. It's really about how it's done. I love the gasp and whimper of a first timer, or someone who hasn't done it in a long time. I love the acceptance along with the delicious feelings of being violated. I can mentally feel the nervous excitement as well as pleasure that is about to be had. It's such an intense sensation.
I'm still not a big fan of a character that isn't really enjoying the anal sex. I do however love when there is a ton of trepidation and begging not to do it and it's somewhat forced, but enjoyed. That is my favorite to read. Whether it's a cock or a plug being forced in there, I'm about it.
Now for enemas and figging. They both are really growing in popularity as anal punishments. They're almost as big as spanking these days and seem to always be involved in naughty bottom punishments. Enemas are featured frequently in BDSM slave, pet, and age play. I personally prefer extreme vagueness when it comes to Enemas. Extreme. Vagueness.
This is for two reason.
The first (and super big) reason is I've had enemas. The result is always the same. I vomit when I get flushed out. I vomit then I go to the bathroom for hours after. Painful stomach cramps are involved. I cannot read enema play without thinking of the very realistic ramifications I personally experience.
It is what it is. And it isn't sexy. (I'd make a lousy porn star)
The second reason is because of my damn inner PSA!! I've got Debby Downer reminding me it's not recommended or medically sound to do in real life. I get the appeal. It seems like a great idea. Who doesn't want to have a super clean hole to bang? All I can think about is how it weakens the anal canal, strips the lining and promotes easy tearing to the rectal lining. It's actually recommended to wait two to three days after an enema before participating in anal intercourse of any kind.
That goes through my head with the voice from the 60 Minutes guy--and the ticking--every time I read an after enema hard core sex scene.
As for figging. It's just okay. I've read it plenty of times but haven't done it in real life. It's a shrug for me. Nothing about speaks to me. I get how it could be appealing. I'm actually surprised by my lack of enthusiasm about figging. It seems like it would be right up my alley. (pun not intended, but still enjoyed)
Now you know. I'm a big fan of romantic anal sex in literature and a mediocre fan of anal punishment. I have contingencies. I'm all about penetration. My favorite is reading about taking a big plug, dildo, or cock there in a punishing but well lubricated and lovingly dirty manner.
Any of that surprise you? Be sure to check out everyone's posts and join the discussion!!!