Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Erotica and Reality

* * * *

Who doesn't love a good love scene that gets your heart pumping and your imagination orbiting into sensual fantasy land? Trying new things can lead to some of the best sex you've ever had but always remember what happens in fiction shouldn't always translate into reality.

 Here's some things you may want to skip;
    ~Food and things like liquid chocolate/caramel/honey in and on your southern orifices may seem like a wickedly good time. In reality they may lead to all kinds of nasty infections and allergic reactions. So, no grabbing the chocolate syrup out of the fridge to use for lube. You may be able to eat a cucumber but discover inserting it other places leads to hives and an interesting doctors visit. That's not a good day. There are fantastic edible alternatives online and at your local naughty stores that are more likely to jive with your sensitive parts.

     That twinkie dildo seemed like a good idea at the time..

    ~Random rounded objects, long objects and/or marbles, pearls, and beads not intended for sexual use, balls ect. These materials weren't made to go in your special places and regular strand beads and pearls are more likely to break and get lost inside you mid play. 

    The medical society released a list of objects regularly retrieved from the rectum at emergency rooms across the country. Pearls and marbles are on the list enough to know it's a common mistake. Don't reach for grannies hand-me-down pearls. Go pick-up the sturdy ones meant to withstand the mighty clench of the sphincter. 

    You'll be glad you did. You don't want to be on TLC's Sex Sent Me To The ER for anything having to do with "anal retrieval." 

    Wait..No pearls?! But pearls are just so damn sexy!

    I know, I love pearl play too. I've read some wicked things done with pearls in multiple books and not just in lady part play. In a story I recently read the lead male put a pearl on the heroines tongue to indicate their session had begun. She was not allowed to talk and needed to obey his every command.

    My panties were soaked and it was only a historical romance. It was beyond hot and I would love if my husband did this, yet all I could think was, I would be choking on that thing before my first orgasm! I guess sometimes the risk is worth the reward.

    ~Double dipping the honey well, in other words no ass to vagina. What's been in your bottom should be cleaned (condoms should be changed) before dipping back into your vagina. This includes, fingers, toys and manly erections.

    ~Air Dusters. I read a "holy mother of hottness" scene where the lead male tied up his woman and blasted her clit with an air duster. Can you imagine? I was so turned on by this I picked up a can the next time I was at the store, but my rational husband asked, “Is that safe?”

    I thought, of course, it's just a awesome blast of air, but it got me thinking, so I Googled and I'm glad I did.The air from an air duster is actually Nitrogen Dioxide, a acrid brown poison gas, not oxygen. It can and will cause freezer burn on the skin with welts and white spots. Even after applying warm water to the skin blasted by the air duster, the skin will remain swollen and painful for hours after.


    My hot adventurous night of lovin' almost turned into a few days of misery and a wounded clit!

    p.s. Even knowing the 'dangers' I still kinda wanna do that one. ; )

Be adventurous and break out of the norm, but be wise! 
Bottoms up, and enjoy!


  1. Awesome post as always. I love watching Sex Sent Me To The ER!!! The air duster dounded hot to me also, glad you checked!!! Eeeeeeek

    1. LOL, I can't clean my keyboard without think, "Ooo, I just want to try it once." These are the kind of thoughts that lead to that show having so much material!

  2. My favorite words in this post: "the mighty clench of the sphincter." I have never heard of an air duster. I'm googling. You always make me laugh. :)

    1. Once you discover what the air duster is you're going to want to try it. It really does seem like it would be a good idea!

  3. I totally just misread "toys and manly erections" as "many erections" and I was like, damn! What is going on in the Cara household? haha!

    You, as always, have informed me and made me smile!

    1. LOL, it's a party! Look for my next books, "How to be a Considerate Orgy Goer" and "Orgies; Polite Procedures and Staying Hydrated"