Sunday, June 29, 2014

New Adult or Still Adult

I've recently been reading a genre I typically  avoid like the plague.

New Adult.

The covers almost always have a close up shot of young twenty somethings, looking like a sexy American Eagle Outfitters ad.
Crop is just a bit and this
one is ready to be a book cover

They could do full shot
or just a close up for this one

Seriously, they have to be using
 the same models as AE  for New Adult novels


The stories are drowning in selfish bad choices and angst. The female lead characters annoy me. The male lead characters seem like they're in their idiot phase of their early twenties, no matter how old they really are.

The characters are often going through shit I either can't relate to or have mentally blocked now that I'm firmly in my thirties, and my son will soon be a tween. Most New Adult is like Young Adult novels, but with two-seconds-to orgasm sex.

This is just the stereotype.

There are some out of many that I like. Then there are some that I would like to call bullshit on. It's come to my attention the moniker 'New Adult' is being vastly overused. Vastly. Overused.

I get it.

Associating your book with New Adult gets the young readers in the door. Those young readers are nuts with OCD and adore making the shinny e-character posters, blowing up GR with screaming fandom. But not all New Adult novels are New Adult novels. I've discovered, some New Adult novels are just plain old contemporary romance and I'm left calling bullshit.

This is actually a big pet peeve of mine.

You may be wondering how I can tell the difference. The definition of New Adult fiction is pretty ambiguous. Even Wiki seems to think it's shady. They even say, because of the success of the New Adult moniker, publishers have been jumping on the bandwagon and throwing titles into that category for sales.

So I'm going to tell you the difference between contemporary romance and New Adult romance, according to me;

New Adult = If you can take the sex out of a book and it would still be a coming of age type story, it's a New Adult. The plot of these books would survive if the lead character has more than one romantic interest and doesn't end up in a HEA with anyone specific at the end of the book.

Contemporary Romance = Now, if you take the sex out and it's still about the romance of a H/h   H/h that are just plain old adults in their twenties   chances are it's a contemporary romance. It's not a coming of age story. It's not about leaving home and developing their independence or sexuality. It's not about pop culture and their personal journey to adulthood. They are adults falling in love. That's it.

Are we going to start calling 99.9% of the historical romances I've read New Adult books? All those heroines are young and just discovering sex for the first time. According to Wiki those heroines fit the bill better than quite a few of these contemporaries I've been reading.

I'm going to throw Tessa Bailey under the bus, because really, she's a perfect example and everyone who has read her books and knows what I'm talking about. And, almost everyone that would be reading this blog has read her books. *If you haven't you should. Besides being missed labeled, they're really good.

She has the Line of Duty series, and a spin off from this series called Unfixable.

If you read Unfixable you have no doubt you are reading a New Adult novel. If the main character didn't have sex or didn't end up with the hero, and dated around in the book, it would still be a coming of age story. A young woman's journey to self discovery and self acceptance. She's nineteen and leaving home for the first time. She's just out of high school.

This book screams New Adult.

Now, if you are reading Protecting What's His, you would have to be told it's a New Adult. And if you are anything like me, you'd call bullshit. I rolled my eyes and gave a pfft, when I read that the Line of Duty series was New Adult.

The characters are out of their rookie adult years. For all intents and purposes they are just plain adults. The men have careers. Set careers. The women are women with career and charities. They may not be sure of what's going on in their life. They may not be winning any trophies for having their shit together. But they are still adult women.

The characters are firmly entrenched in adulthood.


When did this vague belief you're not an adult until you're thirty come about?! My cousin (bless her heart) recently posted on her FB page that she was excited about turning thirty and starting her adult years....

What?!?

I love my cousin. I never wanted to smack someone upside the head more than at that moment.

Adulthood doesn't come when you've got things figured out. Adulthood doesn't mean you've got your shit together. Adulthood isn't when you finally pay off your student loans. Or when you buy a car without a co-signer. Or when you move out of your parents home.

It's certainly NOT when you turn thirty.

Call me old fashion, but I believe adulthood comes about the same time as turning eighteen, when you can legally get married, get tattooed, make poor decisions and be charged as an adult in a court of law. Those first few years after eighteen you are a 'new adult'.

Everything after that you're just an adult.

Let's not perpetuate this shit. Let's call a spade a spade, and a contemporary romance a contemporary romance.

Happy Adult Romance Reading!


So, I would love to know, does this drive you crazy too or are you impervious to genre labeling? Or are you filled with giddy glee each time you see something labeled New Adult?


Sunday, June 15, 2014

G Marks The Spot


                                    

Have you ever found your g-spot before? I mean reeeaaally found it? Like, it wasn't just an accident of enthusiasm. You could draw a road map and hand out GPS coordinates for the next pilgrimage. FOUND IT! Found it?

I ask because not everyone knows their vagina. I was at a gyno appointment for my dislodged IUD. The physician's assistant   a mousy little blond   asked how I could possibly know this, in which I replied, "I check my strings."

For those of you not in the know; this picture below is an IUD hanging out in a uterus, doing it's baby blocking job. See those strings hanging down where it says 'strings'? Yep, those are multipurpose and help indicate your IUD is still in place. You prop your foot up on a stool or chair, stick your finger up your J and check if they're still there. If they aren't hanging out the mouth of your uterus chances are your IUD has become dislodged.


Not a biggie. You just go see your gyno, get an ultra sound, and you find out if it's trying to poke through the lining of your uterus or if it just moved up too far. *Just a bit of TMI; mine once moved up too far and the shortened string (hard dental floss like string) kept poking my husband in the urethra during our special moments. My doctor says that happens, but not often. Just a heads up. 

This physician's assistant quickly lost any credibility as a physician's anything, in my eyes, and was immediately filed under 'Twat Waffle' when she asked me, "Why?" with an 'OMG, that's so gross, why would you put your fingers inside your body?' look. 

Now I'm looking at her like 'you stupid twat waffle', as I patiently say, "Because you're supposed to. Because Dr. Blank-a-d-blank, tells ALL her patients that get one, to CHECK THEIR STRINGS." 

Yeah, I was totally annoyed


Thankfully, about that time the Ultra Sound Technician came to collect me, leaving the pursed lipped Modest Midge Twat Waffle to stew in it. The Ultra Sound Technician must have been listening at the door, (thin walls abound at the gyno office), because she leaned in and conspiratorially whispered, "It's a wonder half the women in here know their vagina from a hole in the ground. They've probably never looked at it their own lady parts, let alone touched them." Then she winked at me. I love her. Every time I see her at my gyno's office I want to hug her. 

Anyways, this made me realize that most women don't really know their own vagina. There's different levels of knowing her too. Clinically I know my vagina and I know my one-o'clock spot; the spot to the left of your clit that makes your eyes cross. But somehow, someway, my g-spot always alluded me. 

My husband had found it. Kind of. He managed to hit it almost every time we rocked the bed springs. <wink> Buuuutt, it had been accidents of enthusiasm. Recently he FOUND IT!!!, found it. 


After my eyes uncrossed from him trying to get me to squirt,(the poor man will not accept defeat) this made me jealous because, I hadn't found it. And I had been searching for years

It's the female prostate for heaven's sake. Since I don't get to experience a prostate ejaculation couldn't I at least know, for sure, what a g-spot orgasm felt like?

Seriously

I was sure I didn't really have one until my husband found it, and I could feel him finding it, and it wasn't an accident. It wasn't a spot he hit mid-coitus. It was a tangible 'it's-right-fucking-there' spot he kept rubbing his fingers over while I was all...



If you are feeling a testicle like egg/ridge section, that's hard but silkyup in your woman's lady bits. And she's making this face...You've found it. Mine is smooth and it was not as easy as making a 'come-hither' motion with my fingers. You kind of got to prop a leg up high and make a face just right. It's an elusive little bugger. 


There were tons of technical g-spot pics, but I wanted to show this one because this is what mine feels like. A golden glowing egg. After years of searching. It really is amazing as everyone says. If you haven't found yours yet don't give up hope. It's up there, and you're going to find it. 

Then you are going to give step by step instructions to anyone wanting to make your toes curl. 

And you are going to be glad you did. 

Now if I can only talk my husband into letting me find his g-spot.


He still just shakes his head in a negative every time I ask him. But I've only been asking for six or so years. I think I'm wearing him down. The other day he shrugged before shaking his head no. That felt like a maybe to me. 

Happy G-Spot Hunting!!! 

Please feel free to share your G-Spot story. Was it an easy find? Are you shocked people have such a hard time finding it, or is yours like mine, and it sent you on a wild goose chase? Let us know, for the more we know, the more places we can go. Like the G-Spot. 

And yes, I just bastardized a Dr. Seuss poem. It happens. 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Coming Out Kinky; Working The Kinks In

A few weeks ago Spanking Fiction Round Table had a discussion about the vanilla spouse. I've talked about this a few times before, but it's worth repeating.

Opening up to your spouse about any kind of desire you are having, can be challenging. The first year my husband and I lived together   our second dating year together   my hubs said he wanted to try anal.

Who doesn't?

Well... me.. at the time.

His kink-come-out didn't go well at all. I made him feel horribly dirty and perverted for this.

I didn't mean to. I didn't know I made him feel this way until years later. But I was not in the same place as I am now. As much as my body craved kinky things, my mind was firmly in the box. I wasn't even willing to experiment when it came to anal. No way, no how.

Then four years later I read some anal scenes in erotica and wanted to try it. Was my husband resentful of my about-face? Maybe. Not enough to say anything and ruin getting to dip his wick in my derriere.

Around the same time we were trying new things I brought up spanking and liking a little pain. I had ideas of what I wanted, but no clear picture. I was still experimentally spanking myself with belts, spoons, and hair brushes    valiantly hoping they didn't leave a mark.



Me opening up about wanting spankings and a little pain shut down everything. Even the anal play. My kink-come-out was not well received. He said he wanted nothing to do with that "pain shit". Our sex went into the dumpster. He didn't think he was making me happy, I felt like I couldn't please him. I felt frustrated and alone, I'm sure he did too.

Both of us were feeling exposed and self conscious.



Our sex life eventually picked back up, but in a tentative   don't try anything new   way. We got horny and we had sex, but something was missing. It was fine, mostly because we didn't know there could be so much more.

About two years ago, my husband discovered sex radio station on Sirius XM, and everything changed. Listening to other people talk about all the things I wanted to try    all my desires, and bedroom wishes expressed by other people  made them okay.

It's like me reading erotica. I just needed to see anal from a different perspective. And obviously he needed to hear about spanking and domination from someone else.

I will admit I was kind of annoyed and had no idea at the time my feelings made me a hypocrite. I just couldn't understand how it was abnormal and sick when I voiced my desires, but as soon as other people said it, it was okay. I, of course, didn't say any of this at that time to my hubs.

Why ruin a good thing?

We've come a long way. My husband's now into things he wasn't initially all about, because he likes how much they turn me on. He says seeing how hot he can make me from spanking, dirty talk, bondage, etc., makes those activities that much more appealing. He's also discovered a side of himself he didn't know existed.

The best thing that came out of all of this is we can now talk about anything and everything, without fear of judgement. So if you've been in a relationship for a while and your kink-come-out is not going as planned, hang in there. It's a process.


It took my husband and I over ten years to work in the kinks, and we're still working on them years later.





Embrace your kinky side, but don't freak out if your partner isn't as excited about it. Your partner's feeling of not meeting your needs or expectations can put a damper on how well they receive your desire to explore new things.


Be brave, be bold, then be understanding. It's a two way street.

Happy Kink-Come-Out!!



Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Free To Buy The Entire Series

There is an epidemic of free and 99 cent e-books. They are out there to tantalize and tease you. Some aren't really good. Some I've found are the worse sellers of an author and for some reason they get priced for free hoping someone will like them, and leave a review.

Then there are the good ones. The outstanding books that are free or 99 cents. These are almost always the first book in a series. A series that has three or more of the books in said series, already out.

Ready to be purchased by your greedy self.

I haven't been to sleep before 1:00 am in days because I've been reading through my bargain books, and buying the entire series that follow.

The first series I will share with you I really shouldn't like. Or at least I didn't think I would.

One the surface, this series has the spoiled rich kids with all the misplaced arrogance and pomp of an episode of Revenge, angst fest, I try to avoid. I don't like angst fest novels and rarely ever care for New Adult novels. I was reading the synopsis thinking just that. Something made me read the excerpt and it made me hot. I figured 'hey, it's free', and downloaded it anyways.

Once I started reading, I couldn't put it down.


Love Inc Novels By Ella James

                      Amz<---Free

Selling Scarlett by Ella James 

426 pages

Hunter West is a super wealthy playboy, who is getting blackmailed. And of course he thinks he can handle things better than the cops or FBI.

Elizabeth is the used-to-be rich girl, down on her luck. She's a stand up gal. She's getting her PhD, she's still a virgin at 23, she's a great friend, and she's got a lady boner for Hunter West that causes her to make some questionable choices. 

One thing leads another and she's selling her virginity in an auction at a whore house in Nevada. We've all been there, right? 

One of the things I really loved about this series, was the feeling that this was a contemporary adaptation of a historical romance novel. If you tweaked things marking the period like the clothes, changed out motorbikes for horses, cell phones for messengers, etc. This could be a historical romance. 

 Another thing I liked is this books -for lack of better word- grit. Hunter West really is a man-whore. That doesn't change just because he's met Elizabeth. He's had enough drugs, alcohol, and prostitutes he's getting bored with them. Yet he's kind of a glutton for punishment. He has issues. 

Meanwhile Elizabeth has her own issues and for much of the book their stories run parallel, joining in places like static zings. I was impressed by the lack of uber angst. I didn't eye roll once until about 300 pages in and even then it wasn't a deal breaker. I had a few moments of being annoyed with the characters. Things got a bit more on the angsty side. 

With that being said, I would still re-read this book and be happily entertained. 

I loved all the characters. Especially the side characters. I wouldn't want a guy like Hunter, he's more intriguing then likable.  I'm definitely not an Elizabeth, but they're both still really enjoyable to read about. 

On a side note; There's some rough shit in this book but the sex between the actually hero and heroine is pretty tame. Are they still a hero and heroine in a NA novel? Protagonists, maybe? Whatever. The lead characters. 

Warning: Mature content. Sex, violence, mature language, and drug use. 

                      Amz

Taming Cross by Ella James

263 pages

This is the story of Elizabeth's best friend Cross. I hate this cover. It isn't how I picture Cross at all. In my mind he's way more Stuart Reardon. I love the new cover but was too lazy to switch them out. You'll see it when you check out the book on Amz.

 Anyways, I'm not going to get into the book, I'll just say I adored this story. Absolutely loved it. Lots of action. Lots of violence. Lots of feelings. All the angst in this book is completely justified. I wanted to wrap myself around Cross and never let go.

The book is advertised as being able to be a stand alone. I guess it could be, but I enjoyed going into this book already totally in love with Cross. His story doesn't disappoint.

                   Amz

Unmaking Marchant by Ella James

219 pages

Again I'm not going to go into this book too much. I will say Marchant is gloriously fucked up. The sex is the most plentiful and dirty enough to be believably Marchant. I adored the match up for this story. It would have been my favorite had it not been cut short. 

The book ends abruptly because the continuation of all three of the stories will be in a novella called Something Blue. Or as I call it, Some Bullshit. Yes the couple get's a happy ending, but the ink isn't even dry on their 'I love you' epiphany before the end credits start rolling. I would have preferred the epilogue of this story immediately. Why isn't this book just a novella length longer? 

Why must we wait and buy another book? 

There is also no release date for this Something Blue but it already has a 2.75 rating on good old GoodReads. So obviously I'm not the only one completely annoyed by this. (I'll rant about being able to rate and review books that aren't even out yet another time. F&^%ing GR)

I just read a blog post stating Ella James has a projected release date of April or May. It's June now, so... 

I think we may be in for a wait. Be emotionally prepared for that, but don't let that stop you from trying Selling Scarlett. Hell, it's really good and it's free. If you're anything like me, you'll love these books. 

For more of Ella James please visit @ http://www.ellajamesbooks.com/


P.S. This post contains all the old covers. So, when you see the books with different covers, do not worry. They are the same books, but with better covers.