Sunday, June 15, 2014

G Marks The Spot


                                    

Have you ever found your g-spot before? I mean reeeaaally found it? Like, it wasn't just an accident of enthusiasm. You could draw a road map and hand out GPS coordinates for the next pilgrimage. FOUND IT! Found it?

I ask because not everyone knows their vagina. I was at a gyno appointment for my dislodged IUD. The physician's assistant   a mousy little blond   asked how I could possibly know this, in which I replied, "I check my strings."

For those of you not in the know; this picture below is an IUD hanging out in a uterus, doing it's baby blocking job. See those strings hanging down where it says 'strings'? Yep, those are multipurpose and help indicate your IUD is still in place. You prop your foot up on a stool or chair, stick your finger up your J and check if they're still there. If they aren't hanging out the mouth of your uterus chances are your IUD has become dislodged.


Not a biggie. You just go see your gyno, get an ultra sound, and you find out if it's trying to poke through the lining of your uterus or if it just moved up too far. *Just a bit of TMI; mine once moved up too far and the shortened string (hard dental floss like string) kept poking my husband in the urethra during our special moments. My doctor says that happens, but not often. Just a heads up. 

This physician's assistant quickly lost any credibility as a physician's anything, in my eyes, and was immediately filed under 'Twat Waffle' when she asked me, "Why?" with an 'OMG, that's so gross, why would you put your fingers inside your body?' look. 

Now I'm looking at her like 'you stupid twat waffle', as I patiently say, "Because you're supposed to. Because Dr. Blank-a-d-blank, tells ALL her patients that get one, to CHECK THEIR STRINGS." 

Yeah, I was totally annoyed


Thankfully, about that time the Ultra Sound Technician came to collect me, leaving the pursed lipped Modest Midge Twat Waffle to stew in it. The Ultra Sound Technician must have been listening at the door, (thin walls abound at the gyno office), because she leaned in and conspiratorially whispered, "It's a wonder half the women in here know their vagina from a hole in the ground. They've probably never looked at it their own lady parts, let alone touched them." Then she winked at me. I love her. Every time I see her at my gyno's office I want to hug her. 

Anyways, this made me realize that most women don't really know their own vagina. There's different levels of knowing her too. Clinically I know my vagina and I know my one-o'clock spot; the spot to the left of your clit that makes your eyes cross. But somehow, someway, my g-spot always alluded me. 

My husband had found it. Kind of. He managed to hit it almost every time we rocked the bed springs. <wink> Buuuutt, it had been accidents of enthusiasm. Recently he FOUND IT!!!, found it. 


After my eyes uncrossed from him trying to get me to squirt,(the poor man will not accept defeat) this made me jealous because, I hadn't found it. And I had been searching for years

It's the female prostate for heaven's sake. Since I don't get to experience a prostate ejaculation couldn't I at least know, for sure, what a g-spot orgasm felt like?

Seriously

I was sure I didn't really have one until my husband found it, and I could feel him finding it, and it wasn't an accident. It wasn't a spot he hit mid-coitus. It was a tangible 'it's-right-fucking-there' spot he kept rubbing his fingers over while I was all...



If you are feeling a testicle like egg/ridge section, that's hard but silkyup in your woman's lady bits. And she's making this face...You've found it. Mine is smooth and it was not as easy as making a 'come-hither' motion with my fingers. You kind of got to prop a leg up high and make a face just right. It's an elusive little bugger. 


There were tons of technical g-spot pics, but I wanted to show this one because this is what mine feels like. A golden glowing egg. After years of searching. It really is amazing as everyone says. If you haven't found yours yet don't give up hope. It's up there, and you're going to find it. 

Then you are going to give step by step instructions to anyone wanting to make your toes curl. 

And you are going to be glad you did. 

Now if I can only talk my husband into letting me find his g-spot.


He still just shakes his head in a negative every time I ask him. But I've only been asking for six or so years. I think I'm wearing him down. The other day he shrugged before shaking his head no. That felt like a maybe to me. 

Happy G-Spot Hunting!!! 

Please feel free to share your G-Spot story. Was it an easy find? Are you shocked people have such a hard time finding it, or is yours like mine, and it sent you on a wild goose chase? Let us know, for the more we know, the more places we can go. Like the G-Spot. 

And yes, I just bastardized a Dr. Seuss poem. It happens. 

11 comments:

  1. I am still in search of mine and am almost convinced I just don't have one. It's like the map some people get in their heads at birth. Mine isn't there. I left the factory early. No map, no g-spot. I don't care about the map but really want the g-spot. OK, so prop my leg up you say and search? I'm going in later. TMI for you - a gift of sorts. And you're so right - I think everyone who finds theirs does this 'OMG here's a map' post the following day! I appreciate every one of them. Happy g-spot finding celebration. I'm not sure which pic I like best but maybe the Osama one...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay, I find it easiest to find mine in the shower with the leg propped up. This is going to sound weird, but I think mine is behind my uterus. Maybe that's why it feels like a golden egg. The front of my vagina feels good when hit or rubbed, but it's not the same as this particular spot. My fingers basically go all the way in, as far as I can reach, then curl in a G. Big G not little g.

      Keep the hope alive!!

      Delete
  2. I have never found mine before either

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never give up. It's an elusive little devil.

      Delete
  3. I personally have not found it. My fingers are simply not long enough and I CANNOT bend my arm the appropriate way.
    Thee men have found THE spot on me. One, and ex boyfriend, laying on my stomach in this position we dubbed "The 'Random" position" for an inside joke reason... Something about that angle for him, sweet mother of Mary.... My eyes crossed and I saw white. Literally almost blacked out from the orgasm.
    The second a one time fling, he positioned me JUUUST right and found it purely by accident, but when he did... WHOA... I screamed louder than I ever did (my throat actually hurt) and there was a bit of a mess on the sheets LMAO
    The current man in my life... He has the equipment for the job. All he has to do is throw my legs up on his shoulder, and hot damn... I'd better hold on. He's got a curve, that's PERFECTLY done to hit that WHOA spot every time. We were made for each other.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OH yes, and I just also wanted to comment on the IUD thing, I kinda feel your pain. I've got one. only I CAN"T check mine. The strings curled back behind my cervix, and I require ultrasounds to make sure it's in the proper spot every time it needs checked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ppl that don't have an IUD don't understand the weirdness of having an IUD. :)And my g-spot is really hard to reach myself also! I think that may be one of the reasons it took me so long to find. Congradultions on your husbands perfect curve. I always tease my husband that I married him b/c he's 'the perfect fit'. Like a dirty version of Cinderella and her slipper.

      Delete
    2. Not husband yet, but I"m tryin!! LOL And I LOVE that "Like a dirty version of Cinderella and her slipper"

      Delete
  5. You've inspired me to search again for the elusive G-spot. I'm appalled the PA at an OB/GYN didn't realize you have to check the string of IUD and was uncomfortable with someone checking out their own body. We are so repressed as a society. True story...Last year a 40-year old lady I work with was distressed because she had to use a douche prior to surgery. She asked for my advice on how to do it since, in her words, "She had never put anything up there before". She rendered me momentarily speechless as I thought about the various toys my husband and I have. My only comment to her was "You've put something up there at least once" (she has twins).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL to the last part. We are so repressed as a society! And I've always been so naturally open about my body, and sex in general, I often forget how horrifying people find their own body and sexuality.

      Delete