My Kind Of Wholesome

I just finished a book that I adored. It was a recommend and I'm sorry to say I can't remember who. I believe it was an author, (Eloisa James, maybe), who posted it on her FB feed as a book that she loved. It's not an erotica, but I loved it enough to had to share.

Amazon

Apples Should Be Red by Penny Watson

86 pages

Recipe for Thanksgiving Dinner: 

Start with a 62 year old politically incorrect, chain-smoking, hard-cussing curmudgeon.  

Add 59 sexually repressed know-it-all in pearls. 

Throw in a beer can-turkey, a battle for horticultural supremacy, and a nudist next-door neighbor. 

Serve on paper plates, garnished with garden gnome. 

Tastes like happily ever after.  

This is an over-fifty romantic comedy novella that is wholesome in an unwholesome way. I adored this book. It's like Clint Eastwood's character, from the movie Grand Torino, got his own love story. I love rude old men. They cut through the bullshit and say what they mean, but don't always mean what they say. Apples Should Be Red was delightfully entertaining, and deep in unexpected ways. This story was funny, touching, and a little hot. I'm always impressed and appreciate when an over-fifty book can turn me on. It makes me feel better about aging. 

Thank You Penny Watson

For more on Penny Watson please visit her @ http://pennywatsonbooks.com/applesshouldbered.htm

Book Covers and the Beaded Doorway

There was a musty old book store where I lived while growing up. My mom used to go in there to buy and sell her romance novels. In the back corner of the store was a beaded-doorway with an Adults Only sign over it. I can't see door-beads without thinking of that sign and all the naughty possibilities that lie beyond.

The few covers I saw, as a sneaky kid, were plain with text across the front. All except one that depicted a couple, clearly from the seventies, with long hair and full bushes. These people were not the pretty artistic cover models of today.

picture these two, but full frontal

Now those racy covers that get our blood pumping may be a thing of the past. As rare as beaded-doorways. Perhaps Amazon could put a beaded doorway on their adult section steering us all in that direction, instead of putting tags on covers they deem too pornagraphic or showing too much skin with a provingly failing system.

I hate to say they're at it again, because that would indicate they stopped. Their ever changing rules and regulations on book submissions is an ever present entity. Amazon is a pain in the behind, but as the biggest seller of e-books, authors need to grab the lube and hope against hope that Amazon will be gentle.

I was going through naughty book covers and I found a stack from the beaded-doorway days. I just had to share. These would have definitely gotten tagged by Amazon   or so I thought. Four of these came up on Amazon with their original covers, in a regular search.

sounds hot

wowzer

I bet someone's going to get spanked

retro NA Rock Band erotica!!!

Ooh My

I'm intrigued 

they're about as high school aged as Luke Perry on 90210

The 1970's were a special time. Going through many titles I realized incest was super hot in the 70's. It really shed some light on works by many authors. Had incest not been as big in the 70's would we have gotten The House of Yes? Would George R.R. Martin not been mad for matching up siblings? Would John Warren Wells have skipped out on the incest interviews for his book Taboo Breakers? 

I'd like to think we still would have. We already had works like Lolita, and Juliette. Readers love to be titillated. No matter the cover.

*Without looking them up; can you guess which beaded-doorway covers made it on Amazon?

Attack Of The Freebies

You may have noticed your FB newsfeed being inundated with books available for free right now. There are so many, it may be hard to choose. I snatched up the books with catchy warning labels. These are the books I've read so far, and how I feel about them:

            Amazon

Catchy Warning Label; **Warning: this book is full of mind-blowing sex, spanking, and dirty words. Proceed at your own risk-- spare panties may be required.**

I give this book a resounding MEH. With 104 five star reviews it's worth checking out, but don't be surprised if --like me--you are disappointed. While I was shocked and entertained, by the end of this 82 page cliffhanger my panties were underwhelmingly dry. The anti-hero Vaughn was just too much of a douche for me to really enjoy the sex. This book is full of sex, only one spanking, and tons of dirty words-- that I was really not impressed with. I would love to know what happens in books 2-4, but I'm waffling on whether or not I'll buy them.

             Amazon

Catchy Warning Label; **Warning: a bad-boy hero who's good with his hands, a heroine who's trying to be good. Contains liberal consumption of Scotch-whiskey, a Highland Games competition, men in kilts wielding large poles, and a potential Sarah McLaughlin of the non-musical kind.

I give this book TWO THUMBS way UP. It's a romance with some steam. This one actually made my panties damper than the uber-sex, Seduction book. It's book one in the McLaughlin series. Each book covers a McLaughlin sibling. I happily bought, and read, the next two books. The only thing that would have made these books better is spanking.

Really, when are we going to start enforcing a one spanking minimum on romances? All I'm saying is, if armpit hair selfies can be a trending thing, so can spanking in plain romances.

           Amazon

Plain Warning Label (but intriguing nonetheless); Warning:....Ends on a cliffhanger, Contains M/F/M and M/M loving. The story is told from three different POV's. Written in British English. Graphic descriptions, sexual situations and strong language. <----I would like to add it's a paranormal vampire book. That little fact doesn't become known until chapter three. So it's a British, quasi-new adult, rockband, mmf, paranormal vampire book. And yes, it's as exhausting to read as it sounds.

I give this book a WHY? As in; why would a writer go back and tell each chapter from each characters POV? It's so effing redundant. Not to mention, many of those recaps were just going through the motions, and lacked the emotional integrity I believe the author was trying to convey by doing this whole cacamayme chapter recap thing. I've read many stories told first person, mulit-POV's, that kept the flow and really showcased the emotional state of each character. I'm sad this wasn't one of them.

I wanted to like this book really badly. By chapter thirteen I wanted to bang my head against a hard surface.

I would love to know what happens to these characters. I'm assuming they all have dirty hot three-way sex, fall in love, and live happily ever after. I'm going to have to keep on assuming that, because I just can't keep reading the same chapter over and over, like a bad teenage girl's wet dream version of Ground Hogs Day.

27 of the 53 reviews on Amazon are five star. Those readers obviously have more patients than I do. Read at your own discretion.

           Kit Rocha

Okay, no real warning label. This is the first 145 pages. A free preview. This book is being loaded onto e-retail sites right now. But if you need 145 pages to get beyond addicted (pun intended) click on the Kit Rocha link then download the Beyond Addiction Preview link on the author page. Their PDF file jives with Kindle.

Freebies (still free) I have yet to read:

The Hazards of Skinny Dipping 
Amazon

A Night Of Misbehaving 
Amazon

Teach Me Love
Amazon

Pick Me
Amazon

Scientific Method
Amazon

**If you've read a good freebie that is still free or on sale, please share!!!**\

Happy Reading!!

Crashing The Net

I just read Crashing The Net by Samantha Wayland, and I loved it. Not that I'm surprised. Samantha Wayland is fast becoming one of my all time favorite go-to authors. She has six books out, including this one, and I can happily recommend any, and all of them. She has some of the best gay and bi-sexual heroes along with awesome possum, toe curling, chemistry between her characters. This book happens to be a M/m erotica that had me wishing I had a prostate. If this book had a face, I would want to ride it.

Yep, I just put that out there.

Amz 

Crashing The Net by Samantha Wayland

Mike comes to Moncton wanting nothing more than to play for the Ice Cats and finally live on his own terms. He's broke, bruised, and covered from head to toe in cheap lube, but he isn't going to let that stop him. All he needs is a place to live and some time to figure out how to reconcile who he really is with who everyone wants him to be.  

Dumping three gallons of lube on the new kid is just another day at the office for Alexei. He knows exactly who is he is: a goalie on the ice, a prankster in the locker room, and a man who knows better than to share his private life with anyone. He's let people in before and it's taught him that if he can't have what he really wants, it's better to be alone.  

Despite their apparent differences, an unlikely friendship grows. Neither of them could ever have guessed how much they really have in common.

Mike is young and super vulnerable. He's not out as a gay man and he's feeling pretty secluded. He has an awesome friend in older, wiser Alexei, but he also has a massive crush on the guy too. Alexei has a major hard-on for Mike from the moment he's sees him, but he's got it locked down. While he's completely drawn to Mike, and takes him under his wing   wishing the kid would lose his sad lost look    Alexei  knows better than to develop those kind of feelings for a strait twenty-two year old.

That is, until Mike makes his big confession. Then all bets are off.

Alexei is a top. He's a controller in the bedroom, and he likes it rough. Who doesn't appreciate that? Mike appreciated it a ton. I know I sure did. I wanted Alexei to bite and spank my bottom, too. He's a hero I could get behind, or under   however he'd like it. While the sex is vaguely bdsm, I wouldn't call it an overt D/s book. The topping and naughty play is not too much more than what's present in any other book Samantha Wayland has written. And there is no actual bondage.

A reviewer poo pooed the book because of the bdsm in it. After I read the book I was scratching my head. There is mild kink in this book. Mild kink with a capital MILD. Anyone who is actually looking for spanking and bondage will not find a lot of that in this book. Anyone that isn't into that kind of play would be....Well, I'm sorry... I don't know. What's that like? Is it weird?

Anyways, I loved the story. There are some editing misses. Minuscule really. They weren't anything that distracted from my over all love for this story, and I refuse to punish the book for them. Five stars all the way for me.

P.S. If you've read The Hat Trick series you've met Mike and Alexei before, but since this book is three years prior to those books, it is a standalone.

Three Cheers For Samantha Wayland!!!

For more from Samantha Wayland, please visit her @ http://www.samanthawayland.com/