Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Big Spanking Difference

Are you a spankophile? This is someone whose number one turn on is spanking. Nothing gets them going like spanking does. If you're not sure where you fall on the spanking spectrum there's a quiz for that, http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-spankophile-test.

Spanking is definitely one of the most popular, and greatly received kinks. Some people only spank for pleasure, some people only spank for discipline and it's often used both ways in BDSM, but it's not limited to the BDSM crowd.

There is a whole wide world of spankers and spankies, but one of the biggest cultures in the spanking world is the Domestic Discipline lifestyle spankers. The DD lifestyle is absolutely intriguing to me.

I'm more of a funishment kind of girl myself, so I'm not sure how I would feel about getting my tushy blistered if and when I go over budget. Not to mention I have the power of the veto. The veto is like safewording out of holidays at the in-laws.

I don't think full time subs get the power of the veto in DD or D/s relationships. And from all accounts, while the DD relationship does seem like it's an extremely casual D/s dynamic, it is full time.

Many people argue that the DD relationship is just a D/s relationship with a different name. Eh, maybe, maybe not.

There is a difference between being in a  Dom/sub relationship, with spanking on the menu and or used in discipline, and being in a Domestic Discipline relationship. While the dynamic closely resemble one another there are differences.

Besides the overall mentality, the biggest one is bedroom play and discipline are generally completely separate. Okay, I know they are often separate in D/s relationships also, it just seems different.

While there are couples that are in D/s, M/s relationships that maintain a DD home life, not all the couples in the DD lifestyle are into anything else remotely BDSM.

They are missing out.

Not to mention there are plenty of people who limit their D/s, M/s relationship to the bedroom. I asked my husband if he wanted to experiment and try the DD lifestyle for a week or two. He turned me down flat. He said he likes taking his angst out on me in the bedroom (it's my favorite too) and spankings outside the bedroom would ruin that.

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

DD may be limited to the over all home life and exclude the bedroom. I'm not sure that happens often, but I'm putting it out there. It is possible not everyone in a DD relationship has spanking fetishes.

I'm also sure there are plenty DD couples that love the erotic spanking or get sexual satisfaction from spanking, but that's not why they are doing it.

From my research I would conclude the bedroom may very well be a vanilla place or not, depending on the couple. Sex isn't always the headliner for DD households and in all honesty, every search I did came back to Jesus.

Let me explain.

From what I've found, from almost everything I've found, (sans erotica) the DD lifestyle is actually christian based. The whole concept is founded on the bible.Yep, you can Google Wiki domestic discipline, you can get beginner DD pamphlets http://learningdd.com/ , and it's going to mention consensual discipline in a marriage according to Christ somewhere in there.

Yeah, I was blindsided by that one too.

I shouldn't have been so surprised. My husband's favorite part our wedding was the preacher's 'submit and forgive' spiel. My husband maintains the preacher said 'submit and obey' and that when said preacher was reading Ephesians 5:22 Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife... he was looking directly at me.

For the record, I wanted a shaman to do the ceremony.

With that being said, there are DD sites that promote non-christian based DD, and I haven't read one spanking book featuring DD that brings religion into it.

Either way, in a DD relationship, the man is the HoH (head of house) and the woman is the submissive who should defer to the HoH. This is a consensual practice and I would hope they all have safewords. Most of these couples practice this lifestyle to promote and maintain harmony in the marriage. After discipline all is forgiven and forgotten. Spanking strikes out dissonance, as well as acting as a healing balm to issues that may otherwise fester.

Put that way, why wouldn't you do it?

Much like the Dom, in a D/s relationship, the HoH must invoke the complete trust and support of his submissive. He must be consistent, and attentive. There should be rules and guidelines to follow. There should always be respectful communication. Also like the D/s relationships the submissive must be able to wholly give herself over to the HoH.

Unlike a D/s or M/s relationship, as far as I know, the HoH does not have his submissive follow the protocols that are traditionally BDSM such as kneeling, collar wear, sitting at his feet, and calling him by a specific title such as Sir or Master. Although the submissive submits to her HoH, there doesn't seem to be the sense of ownership as in a BDSM relationship.

Like a full time D/s and M/s relationship, a DD relationship is a lot of work and a big commitment. For this relationship to flourish both partners need to acknowledge and accept that domestic discipline fulfills them mentally and emotionally in a way nothing else can.

Different Strokes For Different Folks

You know all those times in romance novels the hero muses to himself on how he should throw the heroine over his knee for her antics or latest hair brained scheme? In spanking books he does just that, with consistency and enthusiasm.

For this week's post I have two top rated spanking books and one indie spanker that turned my cheeks rosy. They all feature different aspects of the spanking lifestyle as well some hot'n gritty rump slaps that will have you shouting, Thank you sir, may I have another! 

Body Politics (Rod and Cane Society) by Cara Bristol

Stephanie knows as soon as she meets Chief of Police Mark DeLuca, on a blind date, he is the wrong man for her. She is a feminist and he's the beat on his chest, alpha male type. That doesn't mean he's not the perfect candidate to scratch her itch. 

Mark knows Stephanie is attracted to him, he also knows that she, and her delectably round spank-able ass, is exactly what he's been looking. 

Very much a feminist meets hunky Alpha type story. Mark belongs to the Rod and Cane Society, a Domestic Discipline organization and Stephanie is the founder of WAN (Women Act Now). 

This was my first blatantly DD lifestyle book and I found the dynamic of the relationship fascinating. While Stephanie is wrapping her head around the kind of relationship she has found herself in, I was also wrapping my head around the concept of her boyfriend not being as much of a Dom as an authority figure. 

The spankings are very controlled and deliberate. They create an emotional outlet for Stephanie she didn't realize was lacking. Spanking is a big turn on for Mark, so he has a hard time sticking to the punishment when punishment is called for. The erotic spankings are my favorite. The sex is hot but in no way screams D/s, which I also found noteworthy. 

I did have a big sister moment at the end of the book. I had to remind myself that fiction means not always having to mentally and emotionally process things for two to three months. Stephanie jumps into some major life decisions after a devastating blow and my realist jumped out and screamed, What? You're not ready! 

Overall a great book full of humor, love and delicious discipline. I will be checking out more of the Rod and Cane Society books and look forward to Cara Bristol's up and coming spanking sci-fi Breeder

On a side note: I may read Ms.Bristol's book Unexpected Consequences just because the cover is so super hot. My stomach bottoms out every time I see it. So hot. ; )

142 pages

Warning: This book contains a feminist who doesn't see the erotic as well as disciplinary spankings coming. Some anal play included.

The Devil of Whiskey Row by Renee Rose

When a fire sets ablaze the whore house, Cora Underhill is indentured at, Cora excepts her fate and welcomes death. Jake Diggory, aka Daddy Digs, can't let Cora die. Not today, not ever. Jake has always been drawn to Cora and wants nothing more to see her well cared for. 

After Jake rescues her he gives Cora the option of working for him at his establishment in her choice of jobs and abiding by his rules. Anyone who doesn't follow Daddy Digs rules gets a spanking. With no money and no other place to go Daddy Digs is Cora's best option.

A great erotic old western story, The Devil of Whiskey Row doesn't run the risk of being corny or weak, yet at the same time doesn't traumatize the reader with embellished details of a profession the heroine doesn't enjoy.

While Cora does have sex with men other than the hero, it's subtle and Renee Rose works it into the story perfectly. Jake is gentle and patient, backing off when needed then coming in strong. This story has pantie dripping spankings scenes that turn erotic with the perfect element of domination. 

I look forward to reading many more of Renee Rose's hot, hot spanking books.

98 pages

Warning: This book contains consensual and non- consensual spankings, anal play, exhibitionism, and delightfully graphic sex scenes.

No Place Like Home by April Hill

Karen is a published author and a full time hot mess, living off oreos and free meals at her mom's. She's been bouncing around her mother's empty rentals only to end up in the beat down stucco, she grew up in, right off the Hollywood Freeway. 

When she starts getting dead things left at her doorstep Homicide Detective, Hank Everett, swoops in and decides he wants more than to just solve the case. The more mysterious things happen, the more Karen gets herself into trouble. What's Hank to do but toss unruly Karen over his knee and give her a bottom a wallup she wont soon forget. 

I got a kick out of this story.These two have a real throw back 1950's Lucci/Ricci dynamic.

Karen is very smart mouthed and ignores any common sense while Hank is uber take charge sensible man. The book itself is laugh out loud one moment, then edge of your seat creepy scary the next. I was blown away by the ending. Definitely a standout modern day mystery/spanking romance with a twist. 

The sex is tame but the punishing spankings are frequent, extreme, and described in techno color. Hank doesn't hold back. Not even a little. As violent as the spankings are in this book, I can honestly say they not only aroused, I wanted to be spanked like the bad girl I am more than any other book I've ever read. That, I found surprising.

This story was different from anything I've ever read before. I will definitely check out more from April Hill.

210 pages

Warning: This book contains some graphic, serious no nonsense spanking that aren't extremely consensual. 

For more spankings from these fabulous authors please visit:

Cara Bristol http://carabristol.com/

Renee Rose @http://www.reneeroseromance.com/?zx=9c5ba3a7b923872b

 April Hill @ Blushing Books

Thank You, 

Cara Bristol, Renee Rose and April Hill!!!


  1. I enjoyed your examination of spanking in all its forms. Thank you so much for featuring Body Politics! It was so much fun to write about feminist who discovers her inner spanko.

  2. Thank you so much for featuring The Devil of Whiskey Row! I loved your post!

  3. My pleasure ladies!! Your spanking stories were inspiring. :)

  4. I tend to avoid the Spank for jesus blogs. There are very few out there. Funny you say that most DD is bible based? I have not seen that tendency. DD grew out of an already kinky relationship. A natural progression. What you call D/s someone else will call dd. It is irrelevant what it is called as long as it is consensual and it works.

    1. The premise behind DD, what DD was founded on decades ago was religious. The forefathers of DD as it were.

      There are also other religions and cultures that promote consensual and (unfortunately) non consensual DD marriages besides the Christian ones.

      Thankfully, as in all things, DD has evolved and changed quite a bit.

      One of the reasons I separated DD from BDSM is because they have separate origins. BDSM itself, has evolved over the years.

      Also there are specific groups for BDSM and specific groups for DD that aren't intertwined and don't care to be. I wanted to recognize and respect that, while trying to differentiate the two.

      And I tend to agree with your last statement. Anyone leading a happy safe, sane, consensual lifestyle need not label themselves unless they want to. Some people do.

  5. Enjoyed your post, I was exposed to all this through books. I just found some stuff I enjoyed reading and have been lucky enough to have been able to learn some stuff and seperate the good from the crazy, laugh and enjoy some good reads. I hope you read Unexpected Consequences, I enjoyed it!