I Forgot To Be Sexy

Anyone over the age of twenty-two knows there are times when you just don't feel the sexy. That's understandable. No one tells you there are going to be times when you just straight up forget to be sexy. You'll have ample opportunity. You may even be dressing up for things like work on a regular basis. But it will slip your mind.

That happened to me. I forgot to be sexy. 

I confess, as a stay-at-home mom and a writer, I really don't have to look cute. Most days no effort is required of my appearance, but I like to look cute, so I often do. Not only that, but I write sexy sex scenes all the damn time. Yet, I still forgot to be sexy.

My husband, bless the man, he hits on me, he tell me I'm beautiful and sexy, yet it still escaped my mind. He dotes on me. He brings me treats when he gets off work. He calls on his way home from work to ask if I need anything from the store. He rubs my shoulders and back if I look like I'm feeling blue, and he's opened the car door for me for over thirteen years now. And those are only some examples of how awesome he is.

And I forgot to be sexy. 

As you can imagine, I feel like a total bitch. Here he is, trying with all his might to ignite the sexy and I'm dashing it with a fire-extinguisher. He's been holding up his end--going the extra mile--while I've just let my end fall by the wayside.

Don't get me wrong. There has still been sex. But it's been the sure-why-not sex any couple that's been together for a while knows is a normal thing. But when you're only having sure-why-not sex it becomes an unhealthy thing. Then it's just masturbation within a relationship. Hair doesn't necessarily have to be clean. You do all the positions you know will get each other off the quickest and there may be some fancy ass slapping, and dirty talk, but you're going to get down to business plain and simple. After you're done it's completely acceptable for you both to go back to doing your daily meh that you were doing before. You may even forget that you had sex that day.

That's a sorry state of affairs.

Sexy sex can happen while you don't have on a lick of makeup, wearing your ratty bathrobe, or all dolled up sporting your best lingerie, but you make it count. You get that I'm-going-to-tear-your-shit-up/come-and-get-it-daddy gleam in your eye. The sex can get freaky or just be up against the washing machine, and you and your partner are going to be thinking about that sex you just had all freaking day, or night, just counting the minutes until you can do it again.

And, yes, there will be times when you're just not mentally up for that, but there are going to be times you forget you're capable of that level of hot. You will forget, as I had forgotten. 

It wasn't until I was laid up with a double ear infection, my throat swollen and nasty, that I remembered that I was forgetting to be sexy. My husband was doing sweet considerate things for me and I realized he does those same things all the damn time. I'm just so wrapped up in everything else I didn't notice. But sick, in bed with a fever, I noticed.

A most inopportune moment to be sure. It wasn't as if I could do anything about it then.

I did tell him as soon as I was well we were going to have mind blowing sex on every surface of our house. It's a small house, so it's not exactly a great boast, but it's the thought that counts. I told him it was going to be freaky and dirty and glorious.

He smiled and kissed my forehead in an awe-her-fever-has-made-her-delirious way. But I'm not delirious. I'm going to remember to be sexy. Whether I'm writing, painting the living room, or doing the dishes. I'm going to remember I'm a sexy bitch.

 

I know many of you can commiserate. You may be like me and have forgotten the sexy, or you may have lost it completely. I'm here to remind you to bring the sexy back, and offer some suggestions on how to do that.

Sexy is really a state of mind. You must think sexy to be sexy, unless you're really f%$#ing hot. That's totally different. Even the really hot people have to feel sexy to bring the sexy. You want to feel sexy first and foremost.

1. 20-60 seconds of Porn. A recent study done by some scientist with a doctorate degree at some university somewhere, reported that women who view 20-60 seconds of porn not only started thinking about sexy things throughout the day, but were also more likely to initiate and enjoy sex. 

So now you know, you're just one tumblr porn clip away from redirecting your thoughts from your grocery list to sexual matters. 

2. Erotic literature. In case you didn't already know that. This is a little bit more of a time consuming endeavor than the porn clip, but no less worthy of a go.

3. Sleep. Seven to nine hours. Sex reduces stress and helps you sleep. Sleep helps reduce stress and revs your libido. Sex and sleep is where it's at. That combo is better than any anti-aging wrinkle cream. Have both in your life. You deserve it. 

4. Healthy diet of vitamins and certain foods. Zinc is a big libido booster that is underutilized for those that don't have a head cold. Vit E, B5 and 6 also have been known to help. They improve circulation, improve allergy problems and give you a feeling of well being. Vit A or beta-carotene.

Eating foods that contain these vitamins such as, berries, avocados, sweet potatoes, onions, garlic, and red meat have been known to help. 

5. Relax. Let-the-eff-go. Listen to some music. Move your body in a sensual manner. Let yourself feel sexy. Whether you are filing tax reports or running errands, be aware of your body and the fact that you are a sexual being. 

Sexy safe sex has a million and one benefits. Don't miss out. Be the sexy beast I know you can be! Bring back sexy!!

Married Sex...Let's Get It On

That's weird I don't remember my husband and I posing for this picture.

I want to talk about married sex, or more accurately, sex when you have kids. For many of us it might as well be kayaking. It's turned into a recreational sport you enjoy but don't usually have the time or energy for. As a parent your priorities shift and sex is often put at the bottom of the list.

For some it's not even on the list. I get it.

We parents are over booked and our brains are brimming with errands to run, birthday parties to remember, kiddy sports, meal planning, “What do you mean the projects due tomorrow?” blah!

Personally, I love married sex...now that is.

I had to get through the freak out of loosing my super awesome libido and ability to orgasm at the drop of a hat. When I met my husband in my early twenties I had the sex drive of a sixteen year old boy and I was of a rare breed of female that would orgasm every time, and usually in multiples.

Honestly if I didn't have at least two quality orgasms from a quicky I thought my lady was broken.

Is it any wonder I love sex?

I know, I know, I'll stop bragging. If it makes you feel better my orgasm super power went away and now I have my, 'Meh, not going to happen', moments like any one else. 

Truth is I appreciate good sex more now than I ever did then.

My husband and I had our getting to know you sex. Then, our newly wed fuck fest the first year we lived together. We were that over sexed couple that caused an old lady to move out of the building because of the screaming and banging.

By the time we got married, three years into the relationship, I'm sad to say we had fallen into routine sex. As second nature as brushing your teeth and taking a shower we rutted regularly but it wasn't anything spectacular. 

Then my husband started to travel for work. Sex became explosive again. We were in the throws of 'happy to see you, sad to see you go' sex. That's when I got pregnant and I was certain I would never want to have sex again.

That, I'm happy to say, only lasted nine months. After those nine months we brought home our beautiful child, aka; The Cockblocker. 

I adore my kid but I have to wonder if he has an internal alarm that goes off every time my husband and I are about to have some hanky panky.

After almost seven years we've honed and mastered the art of ninja fucking. Sex is now a covert operation and almost always spontaneous. We never know when the opportunity is going to strike. We must always be prepared.

That's easier said than done.The female mind is our own worst enemy. 

We women can be well rested and in a good mood, but if we have fifty things on our plate for the day or in the works for the next day, it's going to take an act of God to get us to orgasm. That kind of challenge is best left to 'clear your schedule sex', but 'clear your schedule sex' might as well be Easter.

It's a sweet indulgent holiday, that only comes around once a year, and it's based on a miracle. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't wait around for 'clear your schedule sex'.

So how to get in the mood? 

Well, you kinda gotta stay in the mood. Or at least have sex on the mind.

Enter erotica, a different kind of foreplay.A lot of us are reading erotica and romance as an escape to break away, ease our minds and get the 'feel good' juices flowing. 

Guess what? According to slew of doctors, professors and researchers that I don't have to list because I'm not a journalist, we are doing it right!!

Women who read erotic fiction and erotica want sex more.

The things we read in a book have the power to stay with us for days, weeks, months, and if it's epic, years later.Take that Cialis! 

Just remembering a certain naughty scene you read a few days ago can invoke the same response you had when reading it. You get turned on, or at the very least you are then thinking positively about sex.

So ladies, make sure your husband has had his multivitamin (400IU's of D and 12mgs of Zinc to give Mr.Willy a boost) and you are both well hydrated.

It's time to turn on the e-reader and unblock the cock. You're about to get acquainted with some quick sassy reads, that are barely over a hundred pages, but packed with unforgettable hot hot sex that will make you say, Mmmmmm.

Menage Anyone?

The Promise by Allyson Young

Jillian is a savvy business woman making it in the man's world of advertising. She's worked hard for her position. That's why she's shocked and disgruntled to have let her guard down. Jillian wakes up to find herself wrapped in deliciously male scented sheets in a condo not her own.

After a night of celebrating the gaining of a lucrative contract with an elusive client, Jillian did some celebrating of her own with her business rep she had been fighting a flirtation with. Not only has she slept with him, she made a promise while begging for one of many orgasms the night before. She's promised to spend one week with Peter.....and Sean.

Peter and Sean have had their collective eye on Jillian for months. Beautiful with her red hair and extra lush curves, Jillian sets off primal instincts that have Peter and Sean salivating. When they could practically see the chemistry ping pong between them, they knew it was time to pounce.

The Promise will have you hooked from page one. I actually hadn't read it in a while so I pulled it up just to skim and was sucked in all over again.

 The characters are lovable and the story is full of humor and the sex scenes are as memorable as they are hot. The bdsm adds some extra kink but is not over done. The sex is so wildly inventive there were more than a few scenes that made me go, Mmm, oh yeah!

At a 121 pages this book is an afternoon read that will have you putting the kids to bed early. With a rock my socks off warning label, I would recommend this book to anyone into kinky menage erotica.

Warning; This book contains erotic consensual BDSM, m/f/m menage with no touching between the males, spanking, fisting, sex toys and a fee good HEA.

For more of Allyson Young visit, http://www.allysonyoung.com/

Thank you Allyson Young!

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Not into menage? 

How bought a m/f story with a big dicked rancher, who is kinky as hell, with a need to dominate?

Okay, stop drooling and keep reading. 

 Bend to His Will by Sam Crescent

Neal Haney has had a hard on a mile long for the past seven years all because of Sandy Breeden. Sandy is Neal's youngest brother Luke's best friend. She's been an honorary member of the Haney family since she was in pigtails. Now she's twenty five and realizing some where along the way she fallen in love with Neal. 

Flagrantly flaunting herself in front of Neal is getting no reaction, so Sandy decides it's time to take what she wants.

Neal is having a reaction alright, but he has some hang ups when it comes to Sandy.

At the root of all of his absurd reasoning he doesn't think she can handle his lifestyle. While he doesn't completely consider himself a Dom, he does require complete control at home. In the bedroom he is master. He wants his woman tied up, tied down and ready to please him.

The first time they fully come together is explosive. The sex is ultra hot and the bond between the two builds quickly.When Neal thinks he feels too much for her, he turns chicken shit. Like many alpha men when feeling uncomfortable or cornered Neal say's the worse asshole comments at just the right time for maximum asshole effect.

Sandy's done with his nonsense and has decided it's time to distance herself from Neal Haney, even if that means distancing herself from all the Haneys. Neal hates himself even more than his family but will Sandy be able to forgive him?

Bend to His Will was yummy. A delightful quick read that will have you running through the gamut of emotions and falling in love with all the characters. I personally wanted to punch Neal as much as I wasnted to fuck him. I could totally understand Sandy's dilemma.

 Assholes are so good in bed.

The chemistry and sex is holy mother of hotness. Those scenes had my eyes glazing over unable to focus. 

Sam Crescent closes this book with a hint to another. Dare I say there is a Men in Control series on the rise? I have my fingers crossed. There are at least two men I would like to see get happy endings and I wouldn't mind seeing more from the two brothers we know nothing about.

This one is the perfect quicky at 113 pages and will leave you panting for some alone time with your significant other.

Warning: This book contains hot (m/f) sex in graphic detail with light bdsm.

For more Sam Crescent visit, http://samcrescent.wordpress.com/

Thank You Sam Crescent!

p.s. I would have never made it through breakfast. ; )  

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